Half Ass or Balls Out

When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would tell them I wanted to be a chef. Then after years of working in a bakery and being a prep-cook I decided that the chef-life wasn't for me. Chef's made me cry too much. I couldn't stand the heat.

I don't cook as much as I used to. I used to cook every night. These days Hubby does most of the cooking. One might even argue that his cooking skills have surpassed mine, and I was pretty darn good at it. Hubby usually cooks during the week and I usually cook on the weekends.

I cook two different ways; Half Ass or Balls Out

This weekend my cooking was Super Freaking Balls Out. Here's what I made.

Saturday
Ahi Tuna Steaks Marinated in Some Stuff
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Equal parts of soy sauce, apple cider vinegar (I would have used mirin but I didn't have any) and lemon juice
Mince - a few inches of fresh ginger, a few cloves of garlic, a jalepeno
Salt and Pepper, red pepper flakes

Marinate it all for as long as you can. I did it for about an hour but I could have gone longer if I hadn't looked at the clock and said "Oh crap, it's already 7. I better start cooking."

I made a relish / pesto-ish / topping thing to go on top.
Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Mince together - ginger, jalapeno, garlic, lemon peel, parsley, almonds. mix in olive oil and lemon juice, salt and pepper
I suppose you could use a blender but I wanted it chunky. I didn't want a paste.

I served it all with a nice green salad.

Then on Sunday
I had some leftover Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing. I smeared it on some chicken.
I also roasted some peppers, just tossed with olive oil and salt
Hubby bbq'd some other chicken he marinated in herbs and stuff (I don't know what he put in it but it was yummy) plus he grilled some eggplant.
We served it all with a nice salad of arugula, cherry tomatoes and bleu cheese.
 

Guess what I'm having for lunch today.

King Cousins - A Dream

A bunch of Hubby's New York cousin's picked me up and drove me to a dinner theater where we sat at a really crowded table, ate dinner and saw King Crimson play. When the show was over I had to pee really bad. I debated just holding it because I didn't want to miss my ride, but I decided to go to the potty anyways, and to my delight and surprise, all the cousins were waiting in line for the bathroom as well. I wouldn't miss my ride. Yay. Then I was standing outside the car, waiting to get in and Adrian Belew was standing outside. I said "Hi Adrian, good show." He smiled and got in an elevator.

Then I was in a car with Bean, The Boy and one of Hubby's cousin who shares the same name as me. In part of the dream I was driving her to BART so she could go to the Oakland airport. She wouldn't just let me drive her to the airport. She had to take BART. In the other part, we were looking for a new couch with seatbelts to fit into the back seat of the car. We found a pretty cool couch in an abandoned tiny-house, and it had seat belts. Yay us. Then I drove her to BART and took Muni home.

Stealing on Accident - A Dream

I was at some kind of rummage sale. In the back room of the rummage sale, President Obama was filming skits for Saturday Night Live. 

When he was finished he walked around the rummage sale tables. When he got to the table I was standing next to I just happened to be holding a shell lei I was thinking about buying for myself. I guess it was the way I was holding it, because when he got up to me he bent down like I was to put the lei on him. I did. He hugged me. I said "Aloha Kalani." He said "Aloha what?" I said "Kalani" he said "Palami?" No, with a "K."

Then I had to go back to the shell lei vendor and tell her I didn't mean to take the shell lei but the President thought it was a gift for him.

Team Unicorn

So yesterday Hubby and I got into a ridiculous yet very heated discussion involving Unicorns and Narwhals.

As it was 7am when we were having this discussion, I don't remember the finer points, but the gist of it is that I won the argument.

A unicorn would totally kick a narwhal's non-magical ass.

Say Cheese! - A Dream

I as at a store that a friend of mine owns. He decided that he needed to get rid of all of the washed rind cheeses he couldn't identify, plus a few other things.


He gave me tons and tons of cheese. One was a giant wheel of parm with one chunk taken out of it. The rest of it was all mixed up. It was all made into the strangest cheese shapes. There were egg-shaped cheeses, doughnut shaped cheeses, golf ball shaped cheeses. There was one big disc shaped cheese he couldn't figure out. I took the cheese to a local distributor to get it evaluated. They told me it was worth $99,000.00, and I could sell it at $65.99/pound. I thought about giving that particular cheese back to my friend, but then decided to share it with my friends and eat it.

One of the items he gave me wasn't cheese at all. It was a loaf of bread with a bottle of wine baked inside. The crust of the bread was really good but the bread that touched the bottle was gooey and I didn't like it. I didn't drink any of the wine.

Then a bunch of 6 year old girls came in the store and wanted to have a cheese tasting. I was trying to set it up for them but those who worked in the store kept stealing what I had set up for their own tastings. They made the 6 year old girls eat macaroons.