You're Innocent When You Dream - A Dream

 I had a dream last night - 

I was driving though some kind of outdoor community commerce area; people sitting at cocktail tables eating tiny sandwiches and drinking coffee, people walking their dogs, people buying pretty stuff they don't need. I stopped at a crosswalk to let a group of people pass by. Once the last person passed my car, I started to go, but just as i started to go, one of the people from the group turned around, made eye contact with me and walked directly into my car. I pulled over and walked over to the person I hit with my car and started talking to her. She told me she wouldn't be seeking medical care or pressing charges. She was living under an assumed identity and wasn't ready to tell anyone who she really was and if she were to seek medical care or involve the police she'd have to tell everyone who she really was and she didn't want to do that. So instead of me getting in trouble for hitting someone with my car, the victim and I drank Campari and people-watched.

If You Want to Be a Top Banana, the Cheese Stands Alone - a dream

 I had a dream this morning.

I wasn't the photographer, but I was in charge of taking the pictures at some kind of event where the walls looked like something like if David Lynch had a hand in decorating the Madonna Inn. My job was to take portraits of families dressed in their very best clothes, all made out of cheese. 

American cheese was the big stand-out, very versatile, especially good for lapels. 

A Very Duggar Destination Wedding - A Dream

 I had a dream this morning

My family and I were invited to a Duggar wedding. I don't know which Duggar was getting married. It was a destination wedding. First we had to all meet in Arkansas at the Duggar compound then as a group, fly to Hawai`i. Nobody would tell me why we couldn't just fly to Hawai`i and meet them there. We got our hair done at the Duggar house then flew to Hawa`i. After the wedding we went to the reception. We were dismayed to learn that we weren't assigned a seat at the reception. We weren't allowed to attend the inside. They told us to look at our invitation. We are told that although our presence was requested, we were invited. All of the invited people got to go into the reception. All of the requested people had to wait outside. 

We left feeling really put out and disappointed. 

Steve Martin's Personal Life - A Dream

I hate when I can't remember my dreams. 

This morning I woke up at the end of my dream and said out loud .....

If only I could remember what this dream was about.

The Bearded Dragon and the Basking Snake - a dream.

 Last night I had a dream I had a pet snake, but I didn't really enjoy him. He snuck out of his enclosure and went outside and ate a crow. It came back inside and started basking in the cat tree in the window that looked like a real tree, a ficus, actually. 

When I went to grab the snake to put it back in its enclosure, I grabbed a bearded dragon with the agility of a feral cat by mistake. I kept trying to go downstairs so I could return it to the neighbor but the stairwell was flooded and I couldn't get outside, so I did the only thing I could think of doing, I made the bearded dragon wear a top hat with a feather hatband. 

The snake just stayed in the tree, basking like the crow-eating, ficus-loving snake he was.

Strawberries - a dream

I don't really like strawberries.  They're OK, I guess. I'll never choose a strawberry laden food, but I probably won't pick them out if I'm served something. I will however, flat out refuse a chocolate covered strawberry. I don't really seem to get the point of them. There are a few very specific exceptions to my feelings of meh concerning the strawberry. When I was a kid we used to dip giant strawberries in sour cream and brown sugar. I liked that, but I think I liked it because of the tangy slurry that was created with the strawberry juice, sour cream and brown sugar. Also, at the Marin County Fair I usually make time to enjoy a Tiger's Blood shave ice. With the addition of watermelon and coconut, the strawberry becomes refreshing on a hot day. And finally, a favorite of my youngest is a quick jam made from boiling together strawberries, sugar, lime juice and a pinch of salt. It's a nice addition to waffles. Two baskets of strawberries will cook down to fill an 8oz mason jar. It's pretty tasty. 

This morning I woke up to a dream about strawberries. 

I had two baskets of strawberries. One was the conventional kind in the green plastic basket. The other basket was a clamshell container filled with strawberries that had to be stored in the freezer. They were very special strawberries that needed to be kept at a very low temperature to remain fresh. They could withstand the freezing temperatures, while never freezing. They were like the Tardigrade of Strawberries. They didn't even taste really cold when you ate them. 

Bigfoot and Big Eyes - a dream

Sheltering in place is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm getting a little stir-crazy, as to be expected I guess. I want to leave the house, but the moment I do, even if it's just to walk down to the beach and back, having no contact with anyone save for the smile or shaka to a passing stranger, I want to go back home. We're being responsible, we're trying to stay sane, but dang it if it isn't really freaking boring sometimes.

Anyhoozle, it's no surprise we've been watching a lot of TV. Of course I've been dabbling with Tiger King, but it isn't a series for all of the eyes and ears in my house, and by the time everyone goes to bed, I figure I'll go to bed as well and so the perfect time to watch the show is wasted in favor of my beauty rest. This week we've been going back and forth between Master Chef and Finding Bigfoot. I was never into Master Chef until recently, so I've been getting caught up. I'm on season 4 now. Finding Bigfoot, on the other hand, was appointment television. We watched it all the time when it was first run. Now that it's on Amazon, The Boy has been watching it nonstop.

To that end, I had a dream . . . . . .

I was at a Bigfoot street fair on Oak St. just east of the Panhandle. It was the last day and people were packing up and heading back to the woods. The Finding Bigfoot people were there. I ran into Rene as she was packing up her stuff so I went up to her to say goodbye. She had the sweetest tour bus, trailer-bus type contraption. It was three car lengths. The third car was a tiny airstream no bigger than a tiny u-haul trailer. The middle car was a platform with a jeep on it, like a cross between Lorelai Gilmore's car and the kind you see on  the TV show M*A*S*H, and the first car was a self-driving wood paneled square bus with  bright, crystal clear picture windows all around. Inside was wood paneling kind of like an old F-train. There were shag area rugs and beanbag chairs on the floor and pictures of Big Eye Kids on the interior walls. There were bench seats along the sides, but no seatbelts. We went for a drive down Oak St towards the old freeway entrance, because in my dream it still existed. We had to take a super sharp turn. the middle car with the Jeep and the airstream u-haul hit the side rail and made sparks as we took the turn. She looked at me and said "happens all the time."

Stay safe everybody. Make sure to connect with your friends and family over the phone; skype, duo, zoom, facetime, all that stuff. When you encounter someone, maintain a safe distance, smile and give them a shaka. Shaka spreads only love and aloha, not coronavirus.

The Birthday Party - A Dream in Base 13

DNA and Me in 1998. I'm pretty sure I was pregnant with my oldest here, but I didn't know it yet.
But I did have stitches in my hand (not shown) from butchering a giant salmon.

My favorite author is Douglas Adams. I first discovered Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the El Dorado Libary in Long Beach. It sounded interesting. I read it. I loved it. It was a fun outer-space SciFi story with quirky characters and really great one-liners. I've read all 5 books in the trilogy. (I've read, but don't count And Another Thing, the 6th book in the trilogy, however. It wasn't written by DNA and I felt that Eoin Colfer, the author, was trying too hard). However, if I am being honest, more than H2G2, I liked the Dirk Gently series.

More still than H2G2 and Dirk Gently being a great reads, Douglas Adams helped me on my path of being comfortable with and embrace my weird; from him, I learned to accept myself. It was sort of my nerdy version of "it gets better."

Douglas Adams died in 2001. It made me sad.

Last night I had a dream about him. I woke up happy.

In my dream, Douglas Adams was still alive and he had a daughter around the same age as my youngest child.
I went to a birthday party at Douglas Adams' house. The inside of the house was white and had lots of flowy white fabric acting as walls creating rooms in the house's open floor plan. The back wall of the house was a giant window / sliding glass door that opened up to a big backyard with rolling green hills. As soon as we entered, my kids took off and went to the backyard to play. I looked around the room to find some interesting parents to speak with. All the parents were sitting still. Nobody was talking. They all looked really uncomfortable. Sitting in the middle of a long Kings Table was a dad from my oldest kid's class. He had an ax through his head; not a real ax, a fun one. Think of Steve Martin with the arrow in his head, that kind of ax. He looked like he wanted to be really whimsical and fun but ended up regretting his decision.

I walked around the living area a bit, noticed a great buffet table filled with delicious food. People were standing around it, but nobody was eating. I decided that going outside where all the action was would be more enjoyable. I went outside. The kids were having a super fun blast. There we life-size creatures characters from The NeverEnding Story milling about, a giant waterslide-dunktank-archery ride, lots of streamers, a maypole. 

While watching my kids play and run around off in the distance, the dad of my oldest kid with the ax in his head approached me. I asked him where DNA was. He said he spoke with him earlier but that he hated parties and was most likely hiding from all the hubbub as much as he could.


.

To Catch a Cat Cold - A Dream

My cat, Pauly sleeps with me most nights. Usually he gets himself comfy in a spot somewhere around my knees. When it gets really cold out, he sleeps on my head. Last night when I woke up to pee, I found him curled up right by my head..

This morning I  heard my cat sneeze about 5 times in a row. I think he may have sneezed on me last night.

I was in some kind of vacation house with a group of people. I recognized them in my dream but I can't remember who they are now. I was sitting at the kitchen table. I had just started a load of laundry in my pull-out sofa, because I guess in my dream life, Ikea sofa beds can be hooked up to a plumb line. There were a bunch of kids playing outside. A baby about 6 months old crawled up to me. She was dressed like Minnie Mouse. She sat on my lap and watched the kids play through the window. After a few moments she turned her head towards me and sneezed directly in my face. 

Les Claypool and the Flying V and the Quest for Soup: A Dream

When I was about 18 I had this friend. His wife won a Flying V guitar on some radio contest. She was so excited to win it. I saw it. It was pretty. This was almost 30 years ago. I wonder what she did with it. I guess I'll never know.
















The Boyfriend and I plus a handful of our friends were at some kind of house together. Les Claypool was performing somewhere nearby. He happened by us and asked us if he could crash with us. Of course we said yes. Not wanting him to feel awkward and wanting to give him a sense of normalcy, we largely ignored him and let him do his thing. Mostly what he did was amble and putter about carrying a Flying V, just like Randy Rhodes' guitar and talk about how he wanted to eat soup, really good soup.

He mea maʻa mau ia i ke Caprica - A Dream for you and I

Lords of Kobol, I woke up to fantastic dream this morning.

There are nights when I don't want to go to hula. Y'know, you get home from work after a long day, you're tired. You don't want to get back into the car and drive across town. My oldest daughter, who is also my hula sister didn't want to go either. She, like me, had worked a full day on her feet and could have been easily convinced not to go. We make the right decision, we e ʻeu ka lemu (got off our booties) and holoholo-ed to hula. 
I've never regretted going to hula on a night when I didn't want to go. I am always happy I went. Last night was no exception. It was a good class. After class we got home, I put the little ones in their beds, got comfy in my bed and watched a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica on Hulu. I'm in the middle of Season 3 right now. It seems my evening served as really excellent dream fodder.

I was at a restaurant having lunch with Chief Tyrol and Cally. 
(I was probably on Earth, but who knows, I could have easily been on Caprica. I don't think I was on the Cloud 9 ship, unless I was in the employee cafeteria on Cloud 9 because it wasn't fancy. It was mostly shaped like Barney's on Solano.  Yeah, it totally wasn't the Cloud 9 cafeteria because why would I save all my cubits to pay for transport from Faru Sadin to Cloud 9 only to have to eat the space equivalent of Sysco chicken nuggets? The restaurant was definitely on Earth or Caprica.)
We were seated along the wall at a 4 top but all the 4 tops along that wall were really close together. Chief, Cally and I had just ordered and I look up and see one of my kid's friend's dads walk in. I get up to say hello to him. He doesn't see me. He turns away and grabs a 'ukulele from the top of the bookshelf, sits down and starts playing Henehene Kou 'Aka. I say to myself "hey, I know that song." I get up, stand in the middle of the room and join the dance right at the "for you and I" go right into the kāholo and start the second verse, get on that street car and make my way to Waikīkī, Kapahulu, and Kaka'ako (moo).

Taking One for the Team - a dream

There's this guy I follow on Instagram. I've never met him but he's posted enough photos of himself that I'd probably recognize him if I saw him on Muni or around the neighborhood. I had a dream about him and Anthony Bourdain.


Anthony Bourdain is a repeat visitor to my dreams. You may remember him from dreams past.

I went on a date with this guy from Instagram that I follow. We connected through the online dating platform Plenty of Fish. We met at a bar that had two separate entrances. I went through the door closest to the bar. He went through the door closer to the restaurant. I saw him walk in. He did not see me. When I saw him I knew instantly that I did not want to meet him. Luckily, who did I spy at a table close to me but my good friend Tony. I walked sneakily up to him so as not to be noticed by the Instagram guy and slid into the booth next to my friend. I told him what was happening and asked him if he'd help me out by making out with me so I could hide from the Instagram guy. 

He said he'd be happy to, so we made out until the Instagram guy went away. 

Interviewing, Ironing and Interrogating - A Dream

I was in a square room.
There was one door in the top left corner.There was a window in the bottom right corner. On the left side of the room there was a square 2-top table, regular table height. On the right, by the window there was a waist high rectangle 6-top table. The room was kind of dark, not like someone turned the lights off, but rather like someone never turned the lights on.

My old boss and some man were sitting at the 2-top table. My old boss was interviewing the man but not for a job. He was interviewing him for some kind of school project.

I was at the waist-high 6 top table ironing napkins and doing paperwork, aware of the interview going on but not paying any attention to it. 

All of the sudden I felt a nudge and a rush of air. One of my napkins and a pen went flying. I looked towards the door in the top left corner and saw a blurry shadow leave the room. I followed it. When I exited the room I was in the long hallway of the house I grew up in before it was remodeled. My oldest daughter was just making her way into the bedroom (the bedroom that got turned into the entry-way for the 2-3 readers who remember what the house looked like). I realized it was her. She was the gust of wind and the blurry bit in the room sneaking past me. I asked her why she was sneaking around. She told me that she wasn't really doing anything, just out with her friends. She told me it wasn't a big deal. Besides, she said, it's not like she was in Tennessee like she was last week when she sneaked out to buy a $300 entomology / biology book because she thought it would be a good read. I could see how I would never know she was missing because the time difference is 3 hours and she flew three hours there and three hours back so she got home at roughly the same time she left (it made sense in the dream) but how did she get the money for the plane fare and the book?

Goodbye Sunset. Hello Excelsior! -- a dream

Hubby bought a new house that we were moving into. The first time I saw the house was when we moved in. I didn't have any input in choosing the house. It was up on a windy hill kind of like the streets when you get off the 101 at Caesar Chavez, but looked more like the Excelsior. As we were walking down the street to the house the local business owners and residents gave me suspicious glances. Their glances and stares softened when I told them we were moving in the house down the street. 

I got inside and the house was filled with staircases. I had a hard time figuring out which stair case was the best one to get to my bedroom. I was told the kids each had a bedroom on the ground floor but as hard as I looked, I couldn't find them. Hubby's and my room was on the top floor. It was huge. There were a few different stair cases leading up to the room. The staircases were painted red. There were all sorts of closets behind doors that Hubby hadn't checked out. I opened a green door and found a little kitchenette painted avocado green. I walked into the little kitchenette and looked on the shelves and found TONS of really great yarn in plastic ziplock bags. I was about to take the yarn out of the bags when I saw that the yarn was full of little black bugs. I was bummed I had to throw all the yarn away. 

Then I found Hubby in the middle of the room. I was sitting on the bed. He was sitting on the floor.  I noticed our cat Pauly was playing with something. I looked closer and realized it wasn't Pauly but rather a kitten with the same markings as Pauly. I said "oh look, a kitten." Hubby exclaimed "oh no. we have cats," much in the same way someone would complain about having a cockroach problem or gophers in the back yard. Then out from under the bed about 5 more kittens came out. One of them a patagial body, like a flying squirrel. The markings  formed a big red diamond shape in the middle of its back and rays radiated down to the skin flaps. It looked like a cape that Elvis would wear. I wanted to keep him.


Question - Am I using the word "patagial" correctly?

Justin Timberlake; A Dream

This morning I had a dream about Justin Timberlake. Again, no, not that kind of dream, although Justin Timberlake..... might have been nice.

Anyhow - I was at some function that was filled with work people plus a few people from hula class and lots of strangers that in my dream I knew but I can't remember now. I was talking to this girl and told her that I needed to get a hold of "Jason." Jason was actually Justin Timberlake, but he kept switching back and forth from being Justin Timberlake and Justin Taylor Thomas from that Tool Time Show that was on a long time ago.  Justin liked to be called Jason on his off time. I told her that J and I were seeing each other, kinda dating. We went back to this dorm-type room and did a few shots of tequila together. Once I took the 2nd shot I felt bad about it. I'm almost 7 months pregnant. I should have only done one shot, not had two. I told the girl from work that I thought it was necessary to drunk dial Justin Timberlake. Trouble was, the only way we communicated when not together was to DM each other on Twitter. I wanted to DM him, but the two shots of tequila was keeping me from figuring out how to do it. I went to go find The Hubby. I found him in the kitchen next door to where I was  staying, hiding behind the refrigerator, grinning from ear to ear and  eating 3/4 of a lemon meringue pie.

The Big Spider - a dream

This morning I told The Kiddies about a dream I had had that morning.

Hubby and I were in bed about to go to sleep. I noticed on the wall on Hubby's side of the room was a GIANT spider. Its body was oval and about 2 feet long and its legs were even longer. It was a weird tan color. I could hear the 'click click click' as it walked across the wall. I pointed it out to Hubby. He just shrugged and said "oh, it's back again" then turned over and went to sleep.

The Girl asked me what did I do? What happened to the spider? The Boy interjected and said that he entered my dream and killed the spider for me.

The Slumber Party - A Dream

They say that when you're pregnant you have some interesting dreams. Here's one I had this morning.

I went to The Girl's friend's house to pick her up from a slumber party. When I arrived, her friend's house was totally trashed by the kids at the party. I started helping out by cleaning the room where The Girl had slept. While cleaning up her stuff I saw my $11. I went into the living room to talk to someone for a minute, then when I went back into the room where The Girl had slept, her stuff was all cleaned up and my $11 was gone. I went into the kitchen. I saw my $11 on a shelf. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. Someone saw me do it and thought I was stealing, so I put it back. Then The Girl's friend's dad starting yelling at his two Brazillian sons to get into the kitchen and help. They set a little mini factory in the kitchen and started making fudge, all kinds, even savory fudge like sun-dried tomato fudge. Then Magic Johnson came up to me and told me that being pregnant has really messed up my skin, then I noticed I had broken out with a fresh garden of acne all over my face.

Grains and Tony Bordain - A Dream

*

 Last night I had a dream I was spending a week at Tony Bordain's beach house. It was New Year's Eve.  A lot of people were with me. In my dream I knew them but I can't remember who they are now. Tony Bordain had a crush on me. I was thinking that I should write him a thank-you note for letting me crash at his beach house all week. I made a side salad. It was made from some kind of grain. When cooked it was black and white. It sort of looked like a cross between quinoa and cooked wild rice. In the side salad I added some bleu cheese cut in 1" squares and some kind of fruit. I also added some chopped up romaine lettuce. I tried and tried but I couldn't get the salad to mix together. The grains kept clumping in one end of the giant lexan container I made the salad in. I got annoyed with not being able to mix the salad so I put a little bit of each component of the salad onto a big spoon and gave it to Tony Bordain to try. He said he liked it so much he was going to add it to the menu of his restaurant. He handed me a piece of paper and told me to write the recipe exactly on the spot he was pointing to on the paper. I tried to write the recipe on that spot but I ran out of room and gave Tony Bordain an incomplete recipe. He still had a crush on me, though.

* I took this picture of Tony Bordain. It was at a restaurant in the complex by the building I work in. A coworker and I sat outside the restaurant and listened to him answer questions from an audience who paid a lot of money to eat a meal in a restaurant at the same time as him then listen to him speak. My co-worker and I brought our own lunches and saw the whole thing for free.

Hey Pablo! -- a dream last night

I had a dream about Paul Rodriguez last night. When I mentioned it to hubby he said "that's enough, I don't need to hear any more." I tried to tell him it wasn't that kind of dream, but he didn't want to hear about it. I told him anyways. He turned up the volume on the TV but I kept talking. The TV has a finite volume. I don't.

We were in San Francisco but the location was sort of like a cross between The Embarcadero around where Red's Java House is and the parking lot at Palo Verde and Stearns in Long Beach, but not how it looks now. It looked more like when the old Taco Bell was there and before Tom's Liquor was razed. I was walking with this woman who used to work in my office. Don't know why she was in my dream. We never really talked to each other. Our departments hardly ever crossed paths. We were friendly to each other, but didn't hang out or anything. Anyways, this woman and I were walking through the weird parking lot and I spotted Paul Rodriquez. I said "Hey, you're Paul Rodriquez, what are you doing here." He said "Yes, I am. I'm making a commercial for El Faro." Then he walked over to a group of men and started talking to them. As he was walking over I yelled "Dude, you should do a commercial for Gordo's. They make way better burritos. Hey, can I get a picture?" Then he totally ignored me. He was talking to the El Faro ad guys and didn't want to talk to me because he thought I was dissing El Faro, which I wasn't. I just like Gordo's better.

Married again? - A Dream

Dreams are funky. Here's a dream I had the other night.

A long lost boy I had a crush on in junior high contacted me. He said we had to get a divorce because he had met the woman of his dreams and he wanted to marry her. Apparently we were married in what we thought was a fake wedding ceremony when we were 14, but it was actually real. I thougth "I'm married. How come I didn't need to get a divorce first." Then he reminded me I was from California. For the divorce to become official we had to fill out our paperwork at the place where we were married. We met at the place. It was some kind of sports bar. When we walked in the hostess said the restaurant was closed. My "husband" ordered from the to-go menu. The hostess then told us that the bar was open and we could order from the menu there. We sat down in a booth with some people I think I knew but I can't remember now. We told them we were there to get a divorce. They brought us our to-go order and told us we couldn't eat it there because it was 'to-go' and we were clearly "here." We ordered from the menu. While waiting, I got super hungry and broke open the to-go package. It had wings in it. I picked up the wings. They smelled delicious but everytime I picked one up it would break apart and dissolve in my hands and I only got to lick my fingers.