Some mornings I hit snooze more than other mornings. On those mornings when I hit snooze a little too much I sometimes have strange dreams surrounding what I'd be doing if I were awake in real life. For example, if I have to pee, I'll have dreams that I have to pee but I can't find a bathroom, the bathroom is super grody, there are no doors on the stalls, there is a toilet but it's up on a pedestal in the middle of a busy casino. I had such a dream this morning, but not about peeing. It was about showering.
The Boy was in the shower. It was a totally kick-ass shower with knobs that controlled the temperature and the water pressure. There were two shower heads; one each on opposite walls facing each other. The Boy was super digging his shower, which I thought was odd because in real life he's always screaming "don't wash my eye-face. don't wash my hair. I get to wash my cheek-face, not you." While waiting for him to finish showering I decided to play with my hair. I parted it in the middle instead of the side. I liked the result. When parted in the middle it was longer than it was when parted on the side, plus I had super cute choppy bangs. Then I noticed these weird black spots. I got my clippers out to investigate and shaved off the top of my head, sort of like a reverse mohawk / scalping myself. I noticed all these little black bugs crawling around my hair. I don't know what they were, but I decided to call them lice. I went around the bathroom collecting all the brushes so The Girl wouldn't use them and get lice as well. The Boy got out of the shower. Just as I was about to go in, the shower turned into a shower / jacuzzi. Right when I was about to get in I discoverd 5 Mexican men in their 50's had beaten me to it and were in my jacuzzi shower. While I didn't mind them taking a jacuzzi and shower in my bathroom, I didn't want them to do it right now. I had to get up and get ready for work. I found a set of temperature controls in the other room and made the jacuzzi 32 degrees. They all complained that it was too cold but nobody got out. I couldn't wash the lice-bug-things out of my hair, I couldn't make it look nice parted down the middle anymore because I had scalped myself, and I had to pee really bad.
Then my alarm went off again, I got my ass out of bed, peed, took a shower and got ready for work. BTW, my hair looks great today and there are no bugs in it.
..... sweeping generalizations stemming from my experiences and imagination ..... Warning: contains much that is apocryphal - or at least wildly inaccurate.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Aloha.
Thanks for reading . . . . thanks for commenting.