In Which a Golfer from Ottawa Saved Me From a Drunk Girl

I'm in Upstate New York right now visiting my company's Mother Ship.

Not quite used to the 3 hour time difference, when I got back to my hotel room last nightI put my head down on the bed and the next thing I knew it was 3 hours later.

I woke up, brushed my hair and went down to the hotel restaurant for some dinner.


I sat at the bar. I ordered a glass of wine and a cheeseburger.

Sitting two seats away from me was a woman. She started talking slurring to me. For the first five minutes of our conversation I was entertained. She told me she was local, she was the oldest of 7, not married, no kids, but she had 14 nieces and nephews, 8 of whom were under 5 years old. She also noted that she lived not too far away from the hotel and didn't have anything in her house to eat, and didn't feel like going to the grocery store to get something to cook, besides, she was craving her favorite drink, Captain Morgan and Diet Coke (yuck, I know).

By the time my burger came I was ready to be rid of this woman. I was no longer entertained. I thought that she'd leave me alone if I pretended to be really really interested in the burger in front of me and the baseball game on the TV. I was wrong. She kept talking, and starting every sentence with "I schwear to god . . ." and "Sssserioussllly . . ."

Just about the time the woman was ordering her 3rd Captain Morgan and Diet Coke a man came up to me and asked very politely if I would scoot over a seat so that he and his friend could sit together. Instead of sitting closer to the drunk lady I scooted the other way. The men sat down. I look over at the one sitting next to me and thanked him. He looked at me funny.

We talked for a moment. He was Canadian and in town for a golf tournament. I told him I was from San Francisco and in town on business. Our entire interaction lasted about 30 seconds. He and I were both satisfied with the brevity of our conversation and didn't talk any more. In the meantime, Captain Morgana, in an attempt to be charming and friendly, spilled her purse all over the lap of the guy who sat next to her, laughed it off, ordered another drink and kept talking.

I finished my burger, got a second glass of wine to take back to my room. As I was leaving the bar the man stopped me, motioned to Captain Morgana and said "now I understand why you thanked me."

I smiled, wished him luck, then went back to my room, drank my wine and watched TV until I fell asleep.