Be Prepared

I don't remember if I wrote about this before so if I have, forgive me. You'll have to endure it again because it's on my mind right now.

When I was about 6 or so I was at Sunday School. It was my job this particular day to take the offerings from my Sunday School class and take it to the Sunday School office. Most kids threw a few quarters in the basket but this particular day one kid put $2 in the basket. On my way to the office, I stole the $2 and just turned in the change. When I was about 30 I had a crisis of conscience and  put $2 in an envelope and a little note apologizing for stealing so long ago. I didn't sign the note though. I never identified myself ........(until now, mwahahahaha! just kidding).

A few years later when I was about 10 I distinctly remember another life lesson. I don't remember if it was at church or school but seeing most of the time both took place at the same address, I guess it doesn't really matter. Anyhow, the story was about being prepared, handling a crisis and trusting God to bring you out of it. There was a woman who had the worst string of bad luck over the course of a few years, like Job x 10 bad. She lost her job. Her house burned down. Her dog was hit by a car. Her grandpa died. Her dad died. She was in a car crash. Then one day something truly awful happened and she was devastated. She had no idea how she was going to see her way out of such grief and how to figure out a way to rebuild her life. One morning it all became clear. God was preparing her. All the trials she had endured in her life, all the lessons she learned from getting through them prepared her to deal with the worst tragedy she'd ever faced. She at that moment felt a bit of peace. She knew that God was showing her how to deal with tragedy, how to work through adversity and how to be strong. God was telling her to trust Him. He would, once again, show her a way to endure her troubles.

This story has haunted me from the moment I heard it. Whenever anything tragic happens I'm constantly going through a list of all the unfortunate things that have happened in my life (not that there are a lot, but everyone has bad experiences, right?) and all the moments in my life I consider turning points and thinking two things; 1) Is this what God has been preparing me for? and 2) If this isn't what God was preparing me for, whatever's coming in the future will be worse than the tragedy or happening at hand.

Last week I hit a milestone. One day last week was exactly a year ago that my marriage ended. It was a shit day, I tell you. But there was a really great positive that came out of all of it; I made it. I made it through the year. I am not where I want to be yet, but compared to a year ago, life is so much better today. I finally got a job. I have truly amazing friends. I've gone on a few dates, including an extra few dates with the same person. Life is getting better.

So, is this what God was preparing me for? Or is there more in store for me? I was talking to a friend of mine the other night about this. Was God preparing me for this event or is God preparing me for a future event. My friend's answer was simple; BOTH.

Dang it.