Huli and Holo I Mua

Sometimes when we're learning a new hula, or even sometimes when we've known one for a whle, Kumu will change the choreography ever so slightly, like he had a flash of genius of making that kaholo an 'oniu instead, or to kūnou at the 2nd ha'ina, but not in the first. As haumana we adjust. We implement the changes to the hula at Kumu's direction then we holo i mua, or progress to the next verse. We make the changes and we learn to adapt. We move forward.  

Life's map has me sitting at the corner of So Close Street and Yet So Far Away Avenue.

I have a job. I'm starting to look at apartments more seriously for my kids and me. I'm *this close* from my divorce being finalized. I found a nice fella to smooch on. I lost a shit-ton of weight and am more than 1/2 way to my goal. I cut my hair off and feel like myself again. I'm going out. I'm spending more time with my friends. My mom game has totally leveled up more than a few times. In short, I am healing.

However, even with all these positive changes, I still have a ways to go. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes that tunnel feels like the hallway scene in Poltergeist where no matter how fast I run, I just can't get to that door to save Carol Ann. Maybe I should look at it more like that part right after intermission in Dr. Zhivago when the train is going through the tunnel and you can hear the train, you know the tunnel will end soon, but it just doesn't come into view until you just relax and realize it will, sometime soon and then it does.

I need to work on patience, find ways to fuel my endurance and to realize that bumps in the road are just part of the path I'm on. 


I am learning there are four ways I'm going to survive and succeed. 
1. Trust that God will not only bring me out of this, but will help me through it.
2. Bite off little chunks at a time. Tackle what I can at the moment and be patient with myself. 
3. Ho'olilo with the punches, meet challenges head-on, and remind myself constantly that this experience is temporary. This experience is making me stronger, more confident and above all, a better mother to my children; 
4. Take time to reflect on where I started and where I am now, celebrate my progress.

Speaking of celebrating progress. Holy Smokes! 

Enough rambling.