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Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Never Trust a Naked Bus Driver Trapped in a Chinese Bakery - Book Reviews

When I was a kid we had a cabin in Big Bear. I usually liked going, but also sometimes found it boring. In my opinion, the cabin was really far away from the "cool part" of Big Bear (is there a cool part?) We didn't have a TV. We didn't have a phone. The closest store was about 2 miles away. We had an 8-track player and 4 tapes that I can remember: The Best of Bread, The Best of Seals and Crofts, The Best of ELO and Chipmunk Punk. There was also a bookshelf filled with Reader's Digest, every shelf was Reader's Digest and Reader's Digest condensed novels. But hidden among them were two books that influenced my life. 



Help I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery
by Alan King and Never Trust a Naked Bus Driver by Jack Douglas, published in 1960 and 1961, respectively.  At the time I had no idea who either of the authors were, and to this day, I only know them by name, and not by their bodies of work, save for these books, and Alan King's role as Steven Reign, the bad guy in Rush Hour 2.  I loved these books. They were so weird, so unlike anything I had ever read, with humor that my 10yo self didn't quite understand, other than it was supposed to be funny, and probably had something to do with sex. 

When I was about 18 or 19 years old I went to The Cabin for what would be the last time, and stole them. I still have them.

Over the years, the glue in the paperback books has disintegrated, all the pages falling out. Never Trust a Naked Bus Driver can barely be held together by a rubber-band. I tried taping the pages, reinforcing the spine, but the book's pages just crumbled. Help, I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery survived, but the pages turned super dark (and gosh-darn-it, that type is tiny). 

Anyhow, for my recent birthday I bought myself a copy of Never Trust a Naked Bus Driver. I have yet to re-read it. I wonder if it will still be funny. I read a few chapters of Help I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery and it was just some old guy complaining how good things used to be. It wasn't very funny. My guess is that when I start reading Never Trust a Naked Bus Driver, and continue with Help I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery, I'll find a host of outdated humor, thinly veiled racism and a lot of male chauvinism. 

I'll let you know if the books hold up.


1 comment:

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