Conversation I Overheard Whilst Peeing

I get it. There are people in this world who don't like coffee. I am not one of them. I love coffee and I drink it every day. I have a cup in the morning and then I usually have a cup when I get to work. On occasion I will get an additional cup. I don't love coffee enough to drink decaf, though. Seems mostly pointless. I don't drink coffee just for the taste. I also need the aroma, the warmth and, let's face it, the caffeine.


So this afternoon I was in the ladies room.. Two women came in and chatted while they were peeing. First it bothered me because I hate it when people talk to me in the bathroom, so in my head it should bother everyone else, too and they shouldn't do it.


Then I started listening to the conversation. They were complaining about one of their co-workers.
This co-worker had a headache and mentioned she should probably have a cuppa joe because she hadn't had any coffee that day.


These two women thought her logic was so stupid. Why would anyone drink coffee when they have a headache and how is it that there's a correlation between a lack of coffee consumption and a having a headache? She should just take an aspirin. That's what will get rid of her headache. She's just stupid for drinking coffee in the first place.


I waited in the hallway, pretending to be talking on my phone so I could see who these girls were. 20-ish hipster girls. Go eat your $10 toast and drink your kombucha, hipster. I'll be with the normal people drinking coffee.

Conversation With Some Guy While Waiting for the Train

This morning when I got to my train stop I checked Nextbus and saw that my train was 6 minutes away. I went to the bakery across the street from the stop to get a $1 coffee. I call it my "it'll hold me until I get to work and can get a decent cuppa joe" coffee. It's pretty bad and pretty weak, but it does what I say it promises; it works until I get a proper cup. (I'll have you know, while at the bakery I was very good and did not give in to the lure of the pork bun.)


After I got my coffee I sat down in my usual spot and waited for the train. A guy walked by me who I'd seen on the train before but never paid attention to.

Him - Why you be drinking that coffee all day?
Me - I'm not drinking this coffee all day. I'm drinking it right now.
Him - You go to work or school?
Me - Work
Him - Where do you work?
Me - Downtown
Him - Where downtown?
Me - Why do you need to know?
Him - Where did you get that coffee?
Me - Over there (pointing to the bakery)

Without saying a word he crossed the street without looking left, right and left again and went into the bakery. The train came. I got on the train and went to work downtown.

Please and Thank You - Conversation I had with a Cashier

Today is payday.

On payday I usually treat myself with lunch, a bought lunch, not leftovers. Don't get me wrong. My leftovers are usually pretty yummy. Hubby is a good cook and I've been known to produce a pretty good meal or two. Anyhow, today I got myself a sandwich and a bottle of Ito En green tea.





The following is a conversation I had with the 20 year old kid with really bad, not quite grown in facial hair.

Him - Hello
Me - Hi
Him - Do you need a bag? (then he looked away)
Me - Yeah, thanks.
Him - A bag?
Me - yes
Him - (in a tone similar to the one I use on my kids when I want them to use good manners) Yes Please?

He rang my stuff up. I handed him my card.

Him - Do you need a receipt?
Me - No
Him - No Thank you (again with the "you need to use good manners" tone)

I smiled/smirked and rolled my eyes.

I left the store. I went back to my office, found a sunny spot in the bar and ate my sandwich.

Ayyyy! in the Morning

Walking fast down the long hallway towards the staircase in my office along side a Senior Vice President of Something Important

Me - I'm pretending we're racing.
SVP - I'm going to win. I've had more coffee than you.
Me - Yeah, but did you drink your coffee out of a Fonzie Pint Glass?
SVP - *Shakes his head and smiles, takes 3 stairs at a time*

Conversation I Had Today At Market and Main St. - Before I Had My Coffee, Mind You.

Me - standing at Market and Main, grumbling because I missed the shuttle by *that much* and trying to figure out if I should take the 82x or the F to work. Just when I see on nextbus the 82x is coming in 21 minutes but the F will be here in 2, and I'm about to step off the curb to go to the bus stop . . . . a man came up to me. He wasn't wearing a suit and tie but he looked like he was dressed to work in a fancy office. He was on the fancy side of business casual, except for the hippie choker he was wearing.

Man - Excuse me, can you tell me where Pizza Hut is?

Me - Ummm, Pizza Hut? I don't know.

Man - Well, I know there is a Starbucks right down the street and one just behind that building (pointing behind him)

Me - Yup, that's where the two closest Starbucks are. (Wondering what Sbux had to do with Pizza Hut)

Man - But you don't know where Pizza Hut is?

Me - No, I don't know where Pizza Hut is.  I've never looked for one before.

Man - Oh, OK. Thank you.

I'm going to be wasting a bit of time today wondering why this man needed to go to Pizza Hut at 8:00am in downtown San Francisco.

Why do you think he needed to know where Pizza Hut was at 8am on a Tuesday?

Conversation at the California Science Center

Today I went to the California Science Center with my 3 sisters, my niece, Hubby and The Kiddies. We saw the space shuttle Endeavour. It was pretty cool.

Except for the Astronaut ice cream I was disappointed in the food, though. In looking for a bite to eat before going to see an imax movie about the Hubble telescope, I had the following conversation with an employee at the museum.
Me - Excuse me, I see a McDonalds over there. Do you have any other food here besides fast food?
Employee - There's a Taco Bell and Pizza Hut in the Rose Court.
Me - Do you have any food that's not fast food?
Employee - There's a Quizno's around the corner.
Me - So you don't have any food in this museum that isn't fast food?
Employee - No.

Conversation with a Salty Bartender

This afternoon I had to go to the restaurant on the bottom floor of my building and pay for a cheese platter for some thing-thing being held at my office today.

As it's 4pm, the restaurant was not yet open for dinner. Only the bar was open.

This is the interaction I had with a salty bartender and a drunk patron.

Salty Bartender: Can I help you young lady?
Me: Hi, I need to pay for a catering order that was delivered to my office earlier today.
Salty Bartender goes to the register to look for my ticket and comes back.
Salty Bartender: That'll be $40 bananas.

picture stolen from squidoo.com/bananaphone

Me: Sorry sir, I don't have any bananas, will you take clams?
Salty Bartender chuckles, winks at me and takes my credit card.
Drunk Patron: Hey, I didn't know they sold banans here.

picture stolen from trianglembc.com