Cause and Effect - a hard lesson learned at Hula

Yesterday was an odd mix of stuff and I'm certainly feeling it today.

I had a pretty long day. Showed up for work about an hour earlier than usual so I could do my regular work stuff, for in place of my regular work stuff I had to set up for two little receptions happening back to back. It was pretty easy, just time consuming. During the first reception for which I was preparing my boss asked me how long I could stay. I told him I had to be at class by a particular time. Some guy from the the company we were hosting at the reception asked me what the class was. I told him hula.
Now folks, I get lots of different reactions from people when they first learn I dance hula. Most of them, though a little bit annoying aren't malicious. They just don't really understand it so they do "pretend hula" and sing Tiny Bubbles or something. Most of the time I just say "yeah, something like that" or, depending on what diplomacy calls for, or if I actually care about the person I'm talking to I take the time to explain to them what it is I try to do every week in class. I find that the longer I dance hula the fewer people I tell that I dance hula, so as time goes on, fewer and fewer people know about this passion of mine.
Anyhow, last night this tool from the company we were hosting laughed at me. He looked me in the face and laughed at me. He said "oh, that's the best thing I've heard all week. Hula dancing. that's too funny". I didn't know how to react to that. I can't say I was offended because he was just some ignorant suit that I'll never see again, but laughing at me? It was odd. He came from a company that does business with my company. He had never met me and he laughs in my face? Didn't he read any books about business manners and how you should just smile and say something fake-sincere and noncommittal like "oh, that must be very interesting"?

The second reception was fine. No problems and when I got to work today most of the clean up had already been taken care of.

I left halfway through the second reception and hauled bootie to class. Got there with enough time to grab a bumble bar, which I love and an apple before class.

Class was 3 hours long last night. There wasn't a whole lot of dancing involved. It was mostly finding out where our lines were, getting those last minute fittings for our dresses, practicing entering and exiting the stage, etc., in preparation for our show in October. I found the whole process interesting; to see a part of Kumu we don't normally get to see. We see Kumu the teacher, but we don't see Kumu the producer very often.

Last week I left class not at all happy with where I was put in the lines for a few of the dances. I'm not questioning Kumu and his judgement. I walked away unhappy with myself. I thought I was a better dancer than I guess I actually am. I know I'm not the best dancer in the class. I know I'm not "first row" material, but I thought I was at least 3rd or 4th. I would have been happy with 5th. Again, I'm not questioning his judgement. If I deserve to be in the 8th row, then that's where I go. It's his show, his school. He has standards and even though I thought I was meeting them, apparently I wasn't. (There is one dance, however, where I totally deserve to be in the last row, possibly behind a bunch of scenery. I have to get on the stick for that one)

Lesson learned. . . . . . almost.

Hula last night was another story, mostly.
I was really surprised, in a good way, to learn my place in line for a few of the other dances. I will make sure I don't let Kumu and my Hula brothers and sisters down. What surprised me and kinda got me all in a funk again was this one particular dance. Kumu was letting everyone who was doing this particular hula where their spots were. He didn't call me. Out of all the dances I know, I thought that this was my strongest. I thought I was a shoe-in for this one. In this hula one has to sit on one's knees. Not everyone in the class is physically able to do this. I am. When he asked for those who he didn't call who could kneel he made us all sit in a line and dance in front of everyone, to try-out for the remaining spaces.

I don't know how to explain this right, I don't think. I'm mad at myself for having to try out for this hula. I thought I was good enough to get picked; not good enough for the few dances that some of my hula brothers and sisters are doing apart from the group dances, but good enough to not have to prove myself to fill an empty spot at the last minute. I tried out and I got in. Yay.

When I got home I was tired and my brain hurt. I stayed up too late watching bad TV and drinking icky wine. I had a hard time getting to sleep and had weird hula dreams I woke up not remembering.

Last night Kumu said something interesting that has been bumping around my brain all day.
"If you think you've got this dance down, try harder." I guess that's the lesson I should take from this experience. It's not enough to love what I'm doing. The love of dance isn't going to make me a better hula dancer. It won't hurt, but it won't put me in the 3rd row. Always strive to do better. I wonder how many other people left feeling similarly.



If you think you've got this dance down, try harder. Lesson Learned.