Should Muni fare inspectors be allowed to check your proof of payment status outside of proof of payment areas? I asked this question before in 2009. You can read about it on the Muni Diaries website. 5 years later and my question still remains unanswered.
This morning a fare inspector asked for my proof of payment outside of a proof of payment area. I showed it to the inspector but then I asked him why he was checking fares outside of the proof of payment area. I had just hopped off the F-line, but it was not a proof of payment area.
He answered my question Miss-America-Contestant Style by not answering my question, but responding with something only kind-of similar. He said "We're checking proof of payment." I said I realized what he was doing, but had a question about whether or not it was right to check fares on the street where one isn't required to have proof of payment in his possession.
I tried to argue that if I'm standing in a designated proof of payment area the fare inspector can ask to scan my clipper card. I will then show it to him without incident, but if I'm standing on a regular public street, he can't.
Now I know the argument you're going to come back with. It's not like when the General Lee crosses the County Line and Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane screeches to halt and bites his hat because his jurisdiction ends at the Hazzard County Line. If I didn't pay my fare on the train, once I exit the train or exit the proof of payment area the fact still remains that I didn't pay my fare.
But get this, according to Muni's own website, I do cross the proverbial Hazzard County Line once I step out of a proof of payment area. Rosco P. Fare Inspector can't ask me for my proof of payment. I can't be fined for not having paid my fare if I'm checked in a non- proof of payment area; it says so in two separate places on Muni's website.
1. You must have valid Proof of Payment when riding on a Muni rail line or bus route or while within the paid area of Muni stations.
2. Muni Transit Fare Inspectors may ask you for Proof of Payment on board any Muni rail line or bus route, or in the paid area of Muni Metro subway stations between the Embarcadero and West Portal stations.
Now let me just say I did tag my card. My fare was paid and I was able to prove it. The fare inspector scanned my card and the little screen lit up with a YES in large friendly letters. That's not the issue here, though. The fare inspector was checking fares in a place where he had no jurisdiction. Had he hopped on the train, he would have been in fair (fare) territory. Had he been on one of the platforms between West Portal and Embarcadero Stations, he would have been well within the law to ask to see my proof of payment, and I would have shown it to him. I have a pass. I always tag my card when I get on.
While I was trying to have a conversation with the fare inspector, he got super defensive and started raising his voice. He even "have a nice day, ma'am"-ed me and tried to walk away, like I had no right to ask him a question, or I was just a lunatic (PS, I am not a crackpot). His only response to my question was to say they checked fares on the street to keep the trains running on time. Another Muni fare inspector joined in on the conversation. He at least conceded that my logic was sound, but then added that logic had nothing to do with Muni. He also raised his voice and dismissed me.
I'm sure that the fare inspector is used to people yelling at him and giving him grief. I'm sure that makes him quick to anger no matter what the circumstance. Once he saw that I paid my fare and I wasn't a bad guy, he should have let his guard down a bit, or at least shown a bit of patience and listened to my question.
..... sweeping generalizations stemming from my experiences and imagination ..... Warning: contains much that is apocryphal - or at least wildly inaccurate.
Showing posts with label muni. Show all posts
Showing posts with label muni. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Muni Diaries posted one of my stories.
http://www.munidiaries.com/2009/04/23/snarky-train-operator/comment-page-1/#comment-2110
Snarky Train Operator
This morning on the L Taraval the operator certainly gave his riders “what for”.
I was sitting on the train. We came up to 40th and Taraval. The train stopped at the train stop but didn’t open its doors for about a minute. The doors finally opened, people got on and then the train operator started yelling at the passengers over the loud speaker telling them that pushing the button to open the doors does not work until he releases the lock. He is not a man that will be rushed. He opens the doors on his own time and nobody is going to make him release the locks before he’s ready.
From 40th Avenue all the way to West Portal the driver would stop at every stop and then pause for about a minute before opening the doors. Once the new passengers got on he would give his speech again.
I wonder if people learned a lesson or just thought it was as funny as I did.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A sweet moment on the Muni
I crochet on the train. Sometimes I read. I go through phases switching back and forth. The only constant is that I always have my headphones on. I don't always have music on, but I've always got my earbuds in so people don't try to ask me what I'm crocheting or what character from whatever book I'm reading do I most identify with. When I crochet, I always keep what I'm working on tucked in a bag and I only pull out the part I'm working on.
The other morning I had my headphones on listening to some Kinks. I noticed a really old Chinese lady watching me crochet. After a few stops I pulled out what I was working on and passed it to her. She looked it over, gave me a big grin, said thank you and then got of the train.
It was a nice morning.
The other morning I had my headphones on listening to some Kinks. I noticed a really old Chinese lady watching me crochet. After a few stops I pulled out what I was working on and passed it to her. She looked it over, gave me a big grin, said thank you and then got of the train.
It was a nice morning.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Pregnancy Posts
So my sweet baby Little Mister is almost a year old. Here are some myspace musings about my pregnancy with him.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
It’s a smelly smell that smells smelly
So now that I'm with child, pregnant, knocked-up, stuffed, whatever ,that's me . . .I can smell everything.
I hate the bus in the morning. There are these three guys who get on who smell like garlic, cigarettes and no shower. Whereever I'm sitting they have to sit next to me. there's also "perfume sprayed on her clothes and in her hair" lady, "too much cologne and not enough shower" man, and my favorite "hard boiled eggs and breathmints" girl. ew.Things also taste funny. Yesterday the sour cream and onion Lays I tried tasted just like swimming pool water.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Pregnancy is making me mean
Today muni was crowded. I had to wait forever for the L. I had the smarts to take whatever train to West P. and then wait for the L so most of the train ride wasn't so bad. However, when I got on the L it was super crowded. I unbuttoned my jacket, stuck my pregnant belly out as far as I could and no one gave me a seat. In fact, most of the other Sunset residents on the train closed their eyes and pretended I wasn't there. I decided to choose a target. I saw a 20 year old girl who I thought had a strong back and should give me her seat. I stood right beside her and stared at her. I didn't take my eyes off of her. Then she turned up her ipod and closed her eyes. I moved closer to the point where everytime the train jerked, my belly hit her shoulder. I wish it would have hit her head, but my belly isn't that big yet. Then I got a seat, perpendicular to her. I positioned my feet and my backpack so she had to really squirm to get out of her seat. When she did, I moved my foot a little bit and tripped her. She didn't fall. She just stumbled for half a second. After I did it, I didn't exactly feel bad, but I did notice how mean pregnancy is making me.Does this make me a bad person?
Monday, January 21, 2008
These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face.
These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
The Baby and My Butt
When the baby hiccups, I feel it in my butt. It's like he's tapping me from inside my butt. Stop it.
Monday, March 10, 2008
My baby is not Oaklandish
Lemme start out by saying -- Baby is still tucked away safely inside me with no plans on his part to come out early.Last night I had to go to Labor and Delivery. Blood pressure stuff. No baby yet. After I had blood drawn and been checked out, but before the results came back, the doctor came in and said they were going to admit me for observation, bring my bp down, control my pre-eclampsia and such, and then decide if they needed to induce me. Then she said something really ugly. She said that there was a nursing shortage and I might have to be transported to Oakland. The first thing out of my mouth was "My baby will not be born in Oakland." Tom agreed, whole heartedly. We were prepared to tell the nursing staff that if they didn't get me a bed in the SF hospital, we were going home. Tom and I are proud San Francisco transplants full of that San Francisco zeal that most of you understand. Our daughter is native, our son will be also.
update - the baby was born 2 days later, in San Francisco.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Little Mister Update
Hello Everybody,Just thought I’d give everyone a little update aboutour little man. Seems naming him after Odysseus, themighty King of Ithaca is fitting. He is certainly ona little journey, trying to get home.Little Mister was born on Wednesday, 3/12 at6pm. He had a pretty rocky start, but is on his wayto getting better.To date, at 5 days old our little boy has endured a blood transfusion, chest x-rays, and EEG, ultrasounds, spinal tap, numerous blood draws. He’s been on and off supplemental oxygen more times than I can count and his newest battle that he needs to conquer is having seizures. Jury is still out on what’s causing those.The good thing is that to look at him, he looks like anormal 5 day old little boy. He’s eating, crying, protesting when being prodded, making all those sweet little baby noises and grunts that babies make. The doctors are pleased with his progress, but perplexed at some of the difficulties he’s having. However, we are encouraged as we keep hearing the medical staffusing words like "cautiously optimistic". Funny thing is that at only 6.7 pounds, he’s a giant in the NICU as all of the babies he shares his wingwith were born at somewhere between 27 and 33 weeks. All of his little friends in the NICU can’t be more than 4 pounds. They are so tiny. He’s the only term baby there. All of the parents of all the babies are so nice. It’s nice to have them to talk to. I know I can’t complain as much as they have a right to as their babies have much longer journeys than mine does. Some of them have been there for over a month, still eat from tubes and can’t breathe on their own. I can’t imagine having to go through what they do.We spend our days at the hospital after we drop Little Miss off at school, and our nights are spent wherever the baby needs us. Mostly I come home for a little while to hang out w/ Little Miss, then Hubby drives me back to the hospital to stay in the NICU’s parent room, which consists of a fold-out couch and the worst shower in the world. Tonight I’m treating myself and staying at home, getting a decent meal and shower and hanging outwith Little Miss. I think I’ll even have a beer. It’s been about 9 months since I’ve been able to enjoy one.No ETA on when little Mister will be coming home.Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, light a candle,chant, send extra aloha spirit, what every you do,please do it.Thanks,Andrea
Monday, March 24, 2008
Yay. Little Mister is Home.
Hooray! Little Mister is home. He came home Saturday afternoon. No more full night’s sleep for me. A small price to pay for having my boy at home. My little night-owl is just perfect and I’m so happy he’s home. We have drs. visits about once a week for a few months, another EEG is in his future, and possibly another MRI. He’s got meds to take every night for until, well, the giant bottle we got runs out. But he’s home. Yay. He’s home
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
It’s a smelly smell that smells smelly
So now that I'm with child, pregnant, knocked-up, stuffed, whatever ,that's me . . .I can smell everything.
I hate the bus in the morning. There are these three guys who get on who smell like garlic, cigarettes and no shower. Whereever I'm sitting they have to sit next to me. there's also "perfume sprayed on her clothes and in her hair" lady, "too much cologne and not enough shower" man, and my favorite "hard boiled eggs and breathmints" girl. ew.Things also taste funny. Yesterday the sour cream and onion Lays I tried tasted just like swimming pool water.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Pregnancy is making me mean
Today muni was crowded. I had to wait forever for the L. I had the smarts to take whatever train to West P. and then wait for the L so most of the train ride wasn't so bad. However, when I got on the L it was super crowded. I unbuttoned my jacket, stuck my pregnant belly out as far as I could and no one gave me a seat. In fact, most of the other Sunset residents on the train closed their eyes and pretended I wasn't there. I decided to choose a target. I saw a 20 year old girl who I thought had a strong back and should give me her seat. I stood right beside her and stared at her. I didn't take my eyes off of her. Then she turned up her ipod and closed her eyes. I moved closer to the point where everytime the train jerked, my belly hit her shoulder. I wish it would have hit her head, but my belly isn't that big yet. Then I got a seat, perpendicular to her. I positioned my feet and my backpack so she had to really squirm to get out of her seat. When she did, I moved my foot a little bit and tripped her. She didn't fall. She just stumbled for half a second. After I did it, I didn't exactly feel bad, but I did notice how mean pregnancy is making me.Does this make me a bad person?
Monday, January 21, 2008
These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face.
These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
The Baby and My Butt
When the baby hiccups, I feel it in my butt. It's like he's tapping me from inside my butt. Stop it.
Monday, March 10, 2008
My baby is not Oaklandish
Lemme start out by saying -- Baby is still tucked away safely inside me with no plans on his part to come out early.Last night I had to go to Labor and Delivery. Blood pressure stuff. No baby yet. After I had blood drawn and been checked out, but before the results came back, the doctor came in and said they were going to admit me for observation, bring my bp down, control my pre-eclampsia and such, and then decide if they needed to induce me. Then she said something really ugly. She said that there was a nursing shortage and I might have to be transported to Oakland. The first thing out of my mouth was "My baby will not be born in Oakland." Tom agreed, whole heartedly. We were prepared to tell the nursing staff that if they didn't get me a bed in the SF hospital, we were going home. Tom and I are proud San Francisco transplants full of that San Francisco zeal that most of you understand. Our daughter is native, our son will be also.
update - the baby was born 2 days later, in San Francisco.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Little Mister Update
Hello Everybody,Just thought I’d give everyone a little update aboutour little man. Seems naming him after Odysseus, themighty King of Ithaca is fitting. He is certainly ona little journey, trying to get home.Little Mister was born on Wednesday, 3/12 at6pm. He had a pretty rocky start, but is on his wayto getting better.To date, at 5 days old our little boy has endured a blood transfusion, chest x-rays, and EEG, ultrasounds, spinal tap, numerous blood draws. He’s been on and off supplemental oxygen more times than I can count and his newest battle that he needs to conquer is having seizures. Jury is still out on what’s causing those.The good thing is that to look at him, he looks like anormal 5 day old little boy. He’s eating, crying, protesting when being prodded, making all those sweet little baby noises and grunts that babies make. The doctors are pleased with his progress, but perplexed at some of the difficulties he’s having. However, we are encouraged as we keep hearing the medical staffusing words like "cautiously optimistic". Funny thing is that at only 6.7 pounds, he’s a giant in the NICU as all of the babies he shares his wingwith were born at somewhere between 27 and 33 weeks. All of his little friends in the NICU can’t be more than 4 pounds. They are so tiny. He’s the only term baby there. All of the parents of all the babies are so nice. It’s nice to have them to talk to. I know I can’t complain as much as they have a right to as their babies have much longer journeys than mine does. Some of them have been there for over a month, still eat from tubes and can’t breathe on their own. I can’t imagine having to go through what they do.We spend our days at the hospital after we drop Little Miss off at school, and our nights are spent wherever the baby needs us. Mostly I come home for a little while to hang out w/ Little Miss, then Hubby drives me back to the hospital to stay in the NICU’s parent room, which consists of a fold-out couch and the worst shower in the world. Tonight I’m treating myself and staying at home, getting a decent meal and shower and hanging outwith Little Miss. I think I’ll even have a beer. It’s been about 9 months since I’ve been able to enjoy one.No ETA on when little Mister will be coming home.Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, light a candle,chant, send extra aloha spirit, what every you do,please do it.Thanks,Andrea
Monday, March 24, 2008
Yay. Little Mister is Home.
Hooray! Little Mister is home. He came home Saturday afternoon. No more full night’s sleep for me. A small price to pay for having my boy at home. My little night-owl is just perfect and I’m so happy he’s home. We have drs. visits about once a week for a few months, another EEG is in his future, and possibly another MRI. He’s got meds to take every night for until, well, the giant bottle we got runs out. But he’s home. Yay. He’s home
2006
I recently closed my myspace account. I realized as I was closing it that I had some pretty good blogs, at least in my mind they were good. Here are the best ones from 2006 . . . Oh, if you don't want to read the whole thing, my dreams are in italics. They're the best part.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Something Little Miss said to me today
"I wish the cast of Spongebob would act out Narnia"
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I could never get the hang of Thursdays
I have been fostering a new obsession -- Smart Water. I buy it buy the case now and drink it all the time. Real water doesn't work anymore. I don't really like the flavored kind -- most of it is too flavorful for me. I used to like the dragonfruit one but now it tastes too much like Kool-ade. The one I really liked was the lemon-cucumber water. I haven't seen that one in a while, but the last time I had it, it was too lemony and not enough cuke.
I remember when I had an obsession with WaterJoe and AquaJava. Glad I got over that one.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The Two Dons (but one is really a Sidney)
I should start this by saying that I have a really active dream life filled with celebrities. I don't know why, but I do. I had one where Captain Picard and I won a kissing contest on the Arsenio Hall show and we had to share a cake w/ Annette Funicello and Frankie Valley. My dreams are odd.
When I tell Hubby my dreams he often replies with only one word: "freakshow".
I had a dream the other night. I wasn't in the dream this time, I was only an observer.
Don Knotts and Don Ho were sitting on a low cement wall. Don Ho wasn't Don Ho, however, he was Sidney Portier, only he looked like Don Ho.
Don Ho was Don Knott's son. You could tell they were Father and Son because they both had genius in their eyes -- the same kind of genius, just used differently.
That was the dream I had the other night.
Monday, May 01, 2006
The Coldstone Dream
I walked into Coldstone to get a chocolate ice cream with toasted coconut folded in. I tell the guy behind the counter that I'm not having the best day and am feeling a bit of ennui. He cuts the ice cream in half and pushes half under the sneeze guard, puts some coconut on it and hands me a paddle. He folds half and I fold the other half. Then he hands me the cup and I put my half in and he scoops up the other half and puts that on top. I ask him if he's ever thought about coming up w/ some sort of Coldsone-folding rhythm like the guys at fisherman's wharf do when they crack crab. He said he'd work on it. Then Little Miss and I walk out. It is raining outside. She has this giant softserve cone that was dripping. I lick all the drips off for her and then we run to the parking garage.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Not at all like the flying ark Yogi and BooBoo had
Another dream this morning --
I had a boat. A flying boat. It didn't have an engine for flying. It had a propeller that I had to crank and it flew on the currents. I couldn't fly it in the night because it didn't have lights. I drove it to work one day on the water. While at work some people took it from where I had it docked to another spot. I took a little boat over to the place where it was and took the boat back. I drove it over to yet another spot and then wondered if I had taken the right boat. I looked around the living area and saw a bar with lots of tikis and neon. Yup, it was my boat.
There was this English guy who lived by the boats and swam everywhere. When he swam, minnows swam in his wake. When he got out of the water there were always minnows tangled in his beard and back hair. Nice guy, though.
Then the boat wasn't mine anymore. It was Josh's boat. (for those of you who don't know who Josh is, Josh is Tom's friend from college, pretty nice guy). He had two pit bulls. One was tan and the other was rottweiler colored. They were both nice and liked to lick your face, but woudn't hesitate to tear it off if you were mean. Josh told stories about how he sailed the boat all across the USA. He said it cost $3,000 a month to own and maintain the boat, and even more $ to sail it.
That's it.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Isabella Rosellini
I had a dream about Isabella Rosellini this morning.
We were at an ice cream parlor. Isabella Rosellini was holding two ice cream cones. They were dripping all over her hands. Her hands were covered with ice cream. She looked at me and said "Ice Cream - the great equalizer."
Sunday, June 04, 2006
This wasn't a dream, or a nightmare. It's true
Last night Tom and I fell asleep watching TV. We're currently into watching all the Buffy series since I wasn't into it when it was running. It probably ran opposite Deep Space Nine or something nerdy like that. Anyhow, we just finished watching the episode where Buffy and the gang discover some graves were being dug up by the local science geeks to fashion a girl for one the the geek's reanimated brother. After the episode, I fell asleep. Tom continued to watch, I dunno, whatever it is Tom watches when I'm sleeping.
Anyhow, I woke up at 4:33 this morning to the voice of Ted Danson. Tom has fallen asleep w/ the TV on. It was that movie where Ted Danson and Whoopie Goldberg find out they have a kid together. Ted Danson was a car salesman (like Cal Worthington and his Dog Spot), and Whoopie owned a bookstore. Will Smith played the boyfriend of Whoopie and Ted's daughter. The scene I woke up to was when Jennifer Tilly, Ted Danson's live-in girlfriend, was breaking up w/ Ted Danson.
In the few seconds before I woke up I was able to run the entire movie through my head -- when Ted Danson took a big bite of wasabi when Whoopie took him out to sushi, when Whoopie got hit by the car and ended up in the hospital, when the bear attacked Ted Danson when he was trying to film a commercial, when Will Smith and the actress who hasn't been in anything since are riding over the bay bridge on a Honda Elite, the list goes on. What puzzled me the most was not that I knew so much about that movie but that I couldn't (and still can't) think of the title.
I thought "Soul Man", no, that was the movie w/ C. Thomas Howell.
Was it "Eddie". No, that was a movie about Whoopie and a dinosaur.
Was it "Fatal Beauty". No, that was about Whoopie and Sam Elliot trying to bust up a big LA cocaine ring.
Was it "Cop and a Half". No that was about Burt Reynolds and some kid that hasn't been in anything since.
Was it "Cadillac Man". No, that was Robin Williams and Tim Robbins looking for their dignity.
Then I thought to myself, "why am I confusing this crappy movie with a whole host of other crappy movies and why do I know so much about them. Do I really watch that much TBS?"
What was the name of the movie?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
sightings . . . . .
I think I saw Sinbad today.
I was walking down Drumm to Market street today on the way to the Muni. I think I had a Sinbad sighting.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Constantine, Kitties and Kiddies
Another dream
I had this one this morning between snoozes on my alarm.
In parts of the dream I was married to Constantine Maroulis and in other parts I was Constantine Maroulis.
I gave birth to 5 babies at once but what came out of me, or rather, sprang and leapt out of me were kittens that looked just like Pauly, Little Miss's cat. After the babies/kitties were born, I had a set of each, 5 kitties and 5 babies. I kept one of each in my pocket, no matter if I was Constantine Maroulis or if I was married to Constantine Maroulis. I was wearing a blue hooded zipper-front sweatshirt with a kitty and a baby in the left side pocket.
As Constantine Maroulis, I was the daddy of the kitties and the babies. I went to band practice and sang in a microphone in a garage with a blue carpeted stage. When I was Constantine Maroulis, I was wearing the hood on the sweatshirt.
When I was Constantine Maroulis' wife, I was the mommy of the kitties and babies. I cleaned the kitchen. The dishwasher was colored fake wood paneling. I refilled the bottle on the table w/ olive oil. When I was Constantine Maroulis' wife, I wasn't wearing the hood, but kept my hands in my pockets.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Name Calling or Why Tourists should stay off Muni at 5pm
Everyday I walk 12 blocks from my place of work to the muni. By the time I get to Embarcadero Station, I'm in full speed and all I want to do is get on the train and go home.
Today I got on the escalator going down. I take this rather than the stairs because I can walk down the moving escalator and get down the stairs faster.
Today there were 2 tourists STANDING on the escalator on the LEFT HAND SIDE. They were talking to 2 other tourists standing on the right hand side about bus fare and if they could get away with paying the senior price. I knew they were tourists because they were wearing shorts and short sleeve shirts at 5pm in SF and they weren't carrying jackets.
Anyhow, I told the guy (probably not in my nicest voice) that he needed to move to the right because people walked on the left. He turned around and said "Well I'm not from around her honey and I'm not in a hurry." Then as I was walking away quickly (remember, I was trying to catch my train), he yelled "Haight Street Freak".
I got called a "Haight Street Freak". I've lived in SF for 15 years and I've never been called a "Haight Street Freak". All the times I could have passed for a "Haight Street Freak" in my younger days what with having more jewelry in my face than Mr. T had around his neck, I was never called one. That I was called a "Haight Street Freak" today made me both happy and puzzled.
The tourist probably heard the phrase that day and was looking for an opportunity to use it.
Friday, August 04, 2006
I've always wanted big knockers!
Yesterday Little Miss and I were in Target. We were looking at all of the barrettes and hair ties. All of the sudden Little Miss said "mom, I've always wanted big knockers." I looked down and realized that she was holding those ponytail holders that have the big beads on the sides and you wrap them around the ponytail rather than putting the ponytail through the loop. Girls, you know the kind. I thought it was so funny that I bought them for her.
When we got home, Little Miss said "daddy, mommy bought me knockers."
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Something Little Miss said to me today
"I wish the cast of Spongebob would act out Narnia"
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I could never get the hang of Thursdays
I have been fostering a new obsession -- Smart Water. I buy it buy the case now and drink it all the time. Real water doesn't work anymore. I don't really like the flavored kind -- most of it is too flavorful for me. I used to like the dragonfruit one but now it tastes too much like Kool-ade. The one I really liked was the lemon-cucumber water. I haven't seen that one in a while, but the last time I had it, it was too lemony and not enough cuke.
I remember when I had an obsession with WaterJoe and AquaJava. Glad I got over that one.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The Two Dons (but one is really a Sidney)
I should start this by saying that I have a really active dream life filled with celebrities. I don't know why, but I do. I had one where Captain Picard and I won a kissing contest on the Arsenio Hall show and we had to share a cake w/ Annette Funicello and Frankie Valley. My dreams are odd.
When I tell Hubby my dreams he often replies with only one word: "freakshow".
I had a dream the other night. I wasn't in the dream this time, I was only an observer.
Don Knotts and Don Ho were sitting on a low cement wall. Don Ho wasn't Don Ho, however, he was Sidney Portier, only he looked like Don Ho.
Don Ho was Don Knott's son. You could tell they were Father and Son because they both had genius in their eyes -- the same kind of genius, just used differently.
That was the dream I had the other night.
Monday, May 01, 2006
The Coldstone Dream
I walked into Coldstone to get a chocolate ice cream with toasted coconut folded in. I tell the guy behind the counter that I'm not having the best day and am feeling a bit of ennui. He cuts the ice cream in half and pushes half under the sneeze guard, puts some coconut on it and hands me a paddle. He folds half and I fold the other half. Then he hands me the cup and I put my half in and he scoops up the other half and puts that on top. I ask him if he's ever thought about coming up w/ some sort of Coldsone-folding rhythm like the guys at fisherman's wharf do when they crack crab. He said he'd work on it. Then Little Miss and I walk out. It is raining outside. She has this giant softserve cone that was dripping. I lick all the drips off for her and then we run to the parking garage.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Not at all like the flying ark Yogi and BooBoo had
Another dream this morning --
I had a boat. A flying boat. It didn't have an engine for flying. It had a propeller that I had to crank and it flew on the currents. I couldn't fly it in the night because it didn't have lights. I drove it to work one day on the water. While at work some people took it from where I had it docked to another spot. I took a little boat over to the place where it was and took the boat back. I drove it over to yet another spot and then wondered if I had taken the right boat. I looked around the living area and saw a bar with lots of tikis and neon. Yup, it was my boat.
There was this English guy who lived by the boats and swam everywhere. When he swam, minnows swam in his wake. When he got out of the water there were always minnows tangled in his beard and back hair. Nice guy, though.
Then the boat wasn't mine anymore. It was Josh's boat. (for those of you who don't know who Josh is, Josh is Tom's friend from college, pretty nice guy). He had two pit bulls. One was tan and the other was rottweiler colored. They were both nice and liked to lick your face, but woudn't hesitate to tear it off if you were mean. Josh told stories about how he sailed the boat all across the USA. He said it cost $3,000 a month to own and maintain the boat, and even more $ to sail it.
That's it.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Isabella Rosellini
I had a dream about Isabella Rosellini this morning.
We were at an ice cream parlor. Isabella Rosellini was holding two ice cream cones. They were dripping all over her hands. Her hands were covered with ice cream. She looked at me and said "Ice Cream - the great equalizer."
Sunday, June 04, 2006
This wasn't a dream, or a nightmare. It's true
Last night Tom and I fell asleep watching TV. We're currently into watching all the Buffy series since I wasn't into it when it was running. It probably ran opposite Deep Space Nine or something nerdy like that. Anyhow, we just finished watching the episode where Buffy and the gang discover some graves were being dug up by the local science geeks to fashion a girl for one the the geek's reanimated brother. After the episode, I fell asleep. Tom continued to watch, I dunno, whatever it is Tom watches when I'm sleeping.
Anyhow, I woke up at 4:33 this morning to the voice of Ted Danson. Tom has fallen asleep w/ the TV on. It was that movie where Ted Danson and Whoopie Goldberg find out they have a kid together. Ted Danson was a car salesman (like Cal Worthington and his Dog Spot), and Whoopie owned a bookstore. Will Smith played the boyfriend of Whoopie and Ted's daughter. The scene I woke up to was when Jennifer Tilly, Ted Danson's live-in girlfriend, was breaking up w/ Ted Danson.
In the few seconds before I woke up I was able to run the entire movie through my head -- when Ted Danson took a big bite of wasabi when Whoopie took him out to sushi, when Whoopie got hit by the car and ended up in the hospital, when the bear attacked Ted Danson when he was trying to film a commercial, when Will Smith and the actress who hasn't been in anything since are riding over the bay bridge on a Honda Elite, the list goes on. What puzzled me the most was not that I knew so much about that movie but that I couldn't (and still can't) think of the title.
I thought "Soul Man", no, that was the movie w/ C. Thomas Howell.
Was it "Eddie". No, that was a movie about Whoopie and a dinosaur.
Was it "Fatal Beauty". No, that was about Whoopie and Sam Elliot trying to bust up a big LA cocaine ring.
Was it "Cop and a Half". No that was about Burt Reynolds and some kid that hasn't been in anything since.
Was it "Cadillac Man". No, that was Robin Williams and Tim Robbins looking for their dignity.
Then I thought to myself, "why am I confusing this crappy movie with a whole host of other crappy movies and why do I know so much about them. Do I really watch that much TBS?"
What was the name of the movie?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
sightings . . . . .
I think I saw Sinbad today.
I was walking down Drumm to Market street today on the way to the Muni. I think I had a Sinbad sighting.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Constantine, Kitties and Kiddies
Another dream
I had this one this morning between snoozes on my alarm.
In parts of the dream I was married to Constantine Maroulis and in other parts I was Constantine Maroulis.
I gave birth to 5 babies at once but what came out of me, or rather, sprang and leapt out of me were kittens that looked just like Pauly, Little Miss's cat. After the babies/kitties were born, I had a set of each, 5 kitties and 5 babies. I kept one of each in my pocket, no matter if I was Constantine Maroulis or if I was married to Constantine Maroulis. I was wearing a blue hooded zipper-front sweatshirt with a kitty and a baby in the left side pocket.
As Constantine Maroulis, I was the daddy of the kitties and the babies. I went to band practice and sang in a microphone in a garage with a blue carpeted stage. When I was Constantine Maroulis, I was wearing the hood on the sweatshirt.
When I was Constantine Maroulis' wife, I was the mommy of the kitties and babies. I cleaned the kitchen. The dishwasher was colored fake wood paneling. I refilled the bottle on the table w/ olive oil. When I was Constantine Maroulis' wife, I wasn't wearing the hood, but kept my hands in my pockets.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Name Calling or Why Tourists should stay off Muni at 5pm
Everyday I walk 12 blocks from my place of work to the muni. By the time I get to Embarcadero Station, I'm in full speed and all I want to do is get on the train and go home.
Today I got on the escalator going down. I take this rather than the stairs because I can walk down the moving escalator and get down the stairs faster.
Today there were 2 tourists STANDING on the escalator on the LEFT HAND SIDE. They were talking to 2 other tourists standing on the right hand side about bus fare and if they could get away with paying the senior price. I knew they were tourists because they were wearing shorts and short sleeve shirts at 5pm in SF and they weren't carrying jackets.
Anyhow, I told the guy (probably not in my nicest voice) that he needed to move to the right because people walked on the left. He turned around and said "Well I'm not from around her honey and I'm not in a hurry." Then as I was walking away quickly (remember, I was trying to catch my train), he yelled "Haight Street Freak".
I got called a "Haight Street Freak". I've lived in SF for 15 years and I've never been called a "Haight Street Freak". All the times I could have passed for a "Haight Street Freak" in my younger days what with having more jewelry in my face than Mr. T had around his neck, I was never called one. That I was called a "Haight Street Freak" today made me both happy and puzzled.
The tourist probably heard the phrase that day and was looking for an opportunity to use it.
Friday, August 04, 2006
I've always wanted big knockers!
Yesterday Little Miss and I were in Target. We were looking at all of the barrettes and hair ties. All of the sudden Little Miss said "mom, I've always wanted big knockers." I looked down and realized that she was holding those ponytail holders that have the big beads on the sides and you wrap them around the ponytail rather than putting the ponytail through the loop. Girls, you know the kind. I thought it was so funny that I bought them for her.
When we got home, Little Miss said "daddy, mommy bought me knockers."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Welcome now my friends to the show that never ends
StatCounter
