So, Now I Know

Our house is a typical Sunset District house; living space on the upper floor, garage and weird spare room on the ground floor.

Freshly married and shortly after we moved into the house we live in now, I thought "I wonder if I can hear the doorbell when I'm in the garage." Then one day, about a month later I was in the garage switching the laundry around. I heard bounding down the stairs, the front door open, the gate buzz and my husband welcoming a few friends inside. They saw me in the garage and the first thing I said was "So, now I know." One of my friends asked me what did I know. My response was "now, I know I can't hear the doorbell when I'm in the garage."

When I got pregnant with my Pua Bean I wondered why God would would send me a baby at 42. Yes, I know how babies are made. I'm not an idiot, but I don't believe in chance. I was certain this baby was sent to me for a reason. I just had no idea what that reason was.

My little Pua Bean is the sweetest little girl. She's happy. She's sweet. She's funny. She loves to make animal noises. She loves to dance. She loves to read. She loves to cuddle. She'll carry a bucket of lego up to you and demand you to play together. She loves to eat. She wants to wear skirts and calls them hula tutus. She loves to color, mostly on herself, with sharpies, but still, she loves to color. She is super fun to talk to  and spend time with.

These last few months have been the suckiest suckfest of suck I could ever imagine. It's my little Pua Bean I can count on to  turn whatever kind of bad stuff that's happening into something that makes me happy and makes me thankful. Unlike the two other sweet babies of mine, she is blissfully ignorant of all the suckitude going on. She is our escape while still grounding us firmly in reality.

So, now I know. Now I know why God brought Beanie into our lives. He brought her to us to make every bad day good at the end of it.

So now I know.