Oooh! That Smarts.

When I was little there was a commercial for Wonder Bread that I just loved. Two sentient loaves of Wonder Bread were talking to each other about how fresh they seemed because of the way they were produced and packaged. Then a woman comes up and squeezes one of them and it says "Oooh! That Smarts!" Then the two sentient loaves of were tossed into the lady's shopping cart and off they went with a happy heart, to be smushed into little balls and used as bait at the local fishing hole, smathered with peanut butter and jelly or stuffed with hot fried baloney and yellow mustard.

So one day I was grocery shopping with my mom and I was just hoping beyond hope I could see someone squeeze the Wonder Bread. AND OH MY GOSH!!!! Someone did! I saw a lady reach out her hand, squeeze the bread then at just the right moment I gleefully blurted out "Oooh! That Smarts!" The lady jumped then she and my mom laughed about it. Best Day Ever!


So this weekend I was visiting some of my family and The Boy was grabbing onto my hands and trying to do this weird balancing climbing thing that only makes sense to a 6 year old boy. I told him that I needed to change the position of my hands because when he did what he was doing it smarted. He asked me what that meant. Right on the spot, I came up with a definition for Smarting that seemed to fit perfectly with the situation, and, well, let's face it, it fits perfectly well with life. For the rest of your days, please feel free to use my definition of "Smarts."

Smart - any kind of pain that hurts as it is happening, but stops hurting the moment whatever is causing pain goes away. Pain without any lingering pain or side effects.
Example - I had a cortisone shot in my knee once. It hurt like a (rhymes with) brother trucker while the needles was delivering its medication, but the moment the needle was removed there was no pain whatsoever.
Another example - Plucking one's eyebrows. It smarts when the hair is plucked but doesn't hurt at all afterwards.

You're welcome.