“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
--- Douglas Adams

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Why I don't eat Hostess Gem Donuts anymore.

Remember the old Muni trains? The orange ones that used to run 3 at a time in the tunnel? Remember how both sides of steps didn't work independently so both sets of stairs were positioned to default to the side the doors opened. So, if the train was on the street, the doors would open on the right but the stairs would be activated on both sides of the train. Remember how the stairwell in the back of the train created a sort of cave or warren for misfits and the anti-social? OK, picture that.
It is easy-peasy to eat a pack of powdered sugar gem donuts. They're very delicious and very bad for you. I love them. I haven't had one in about 10 years.
About 10 years ago I was coming home from work on the L. It must have been right after we moved into our house but I'm not sure if Little Miss was with us yet. If she was she was still a baby because when she was in preschool I took the N to pick her up and never took the L home. A girl got on at Lincoln High School. She was a sloppy hippie type and rather chubby with really messy long hair. She stomped from the front all the way to the back, threw down her over sized satchel and plopped herself down in the stairwell on the side of the train where the doors weren't active. She pulled out a 6-pack of hostess gem donuts, the chocolate kind, and proceeded to eat the entire pack. What caught my attention and compelled me to watch her with awe, which soon turned into wonder and disgust was the manner in which she consumed her snack. She would hold each gem donut, one by one, with her thumb and middle finger and eat the outside. Then when she had what resembled an apple core in chocolate gem donut form she would bite it in half and consume the donut core in two bites. I watched her do this 6 times. She ate the whole pack. It took her from 22nd Ave to Sunset Blvd to consume 6 gem donuts, each gem enjoyed using the same technique. It takes 14 blocks to eat 6 gem donuts in this fashion. After she got off the train I reflected on what I had just witnessed. She had a method for eating gem donuts. It dawned on me, if one has a tried and true method for consuming some kind of junk food, if one is so familiar with a particular treat, one eats too much of it. I was particularly fascinated by her display because I, too, had a method that was not dissimilar to hers.
I thought about the junk food I consumed at the time and decided if I had a method for eating it I would stop eating it.
I haven't had a gem donut since.


  1. I think you're just a little too full of yourself miss perfect.Maybe you should look at your own bad habits before criticizing others.

  2. No need to stop eating them. Enjoy in moderation. Otherwise you can also give up milk, butter, most desserts, steak, burgers and a whole host of foods that are perfectly fine to enjoy on a limited basis.


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