Naked Naked Naked

So we have a bunch of apples from my father-in-law's tree. I've been thinking for the last few days that I should make some apple sauce. The Boy likes applesauce. I thought it would be a nice treat for him. I thought I would make cranberry-apple sauce because I had a bag of cranberries and I thought it would be yummy. I shared my idea with The Boy. My idea was met with total disdain. Cranberries are yucky and stupid, he said. I made cranberry sauce anyways. I had to cook dinner still and wash some dishes. I didn't feel like peeling 20 baseball sized, oddly shaped apples.

I started making the cranberry sauce then realized I didn't have any juice. I never drink juice. I rarely, if ever, have it in the house. Then I remembered I was feeling a little run down last week and bought some green juice to boost my immune system. Then I forgot about the juice and it sat in my fridge for a week. Hmmm, I thought. How would it work in the cranberry sauce?

You know what? It turned out pretty good. I thought it would turn a funky color, but it didn't. It's not a bright yummy color that traditional cranberry sauce is, but rather a deeper red. I thought it would taste Spirulina-y but it didn't. I'm quite pleased with the results.

In the future will I seek out Naked Juice - Green Machine for my cranberry juice's secret ingredient? Probably not, but it worked for this batch of cranberry sauce.

Here's the recipe --

5 Cutie Tangerines peeled and sliced (you could supreme it but I didn't have the patience for it. Also I have a pretty good hang-nail going on and didn't want to get citrus juice in it. I hate it when hang nails sting.
1 bag of cranberries (the size you get at Trader Joe's, but I'm not all that brand-loyal so use whatever kind you like)
1 bottle of Naked Juice - Green Machine
1 Softball sized Golden Delicious Apple (The sauce looked like it needed either less liquid or more chunks so I added an apple)
Some kind of sweetener (I used honey)

Simmer in a heavy-bottom sauce pan until it all the fruit is broken down and it looks how cranberry sauce should look, but not the kind that slides out of the can.

My sauce this time around isn't super sweet. It would go very nicely with some pork or chicken, or turkey if you're into that sort of thing. Turkey is OK, but it's not a pork chop. Some kind of savory meat, maybe seasoned with rosemary and black pepper would be good with this cranberry sauce. I almost used truffle honey but thought that might be a bit much. Maybe next time.

Overall I was pretty pleased with my cranberry sauce prowess and innovative skills.

Enjoy.

Gluten Free Vegan Goodness. Huh.

You know me. I like food.

I try to eat more vegetables than non-vegetables. I try to eat food that's in season and food that comes from local sources. I try to limit my carbs and not have them at every meal. I prepare most of my own food and don't buy prepared food from the freezer section. I don't worry about food allergies

I say all this because of the delicious dessert I had tonight.  It was Vegan, Gluten Free, Raw and Sugar Free. I didn't buy it because it had those qualities. I bought it because it sounded really really freaking good. I had it once before tonight and I had been looking for it ever since. I bought it at one of the Food Wholes in The City. I found it in the cold case next to the bakery department. I don't go to The Food Whole very often but every time I went I looked for this treat in the same spot. Unfortunately I came up with snake eyes every subsequent time and couldn't find it.

Tonight the Kiddies and I went to a different Food Whole. I was kind of meandering through the aisles while my youngest nibbled on the hard boiled egg we had pilfered from the salad bar (it was necessary to keep her quiet and usually a nibble on the salad bar does the job) when I came upon a cold case in the frozen aisle. Oh my gosh, it was there. This yummy yummy delight was there. I bought a container and after the two littles had gone to bed, my oldest and I, with spoons in hand, dug in.  So yummy.

So what was it? What was it that was so delicious even though it didn't contain all the traditional dessert stuffs? Cacao-Coconut Mousse. It's made from Coconut Cream, Dates, Cacao, Carob, Spices and some good 'ole Citric Acid.

So it's rich and creamy and doesn't have the sticky mouth-feel that I get from dates (even though I love dates because they are so yummy I don't like the sweaters they leave on my teeth). It has little bits of coconut in it; not a whole lot but enough to notice. The coconut cream sits on your tongue and sort of melts and coats your taste buds.

It is super rich and The Girl and I were only able to eat a few big spoonfuls each, but that's OK because that means there is more to love tomorrow, and possibly the next day.

So thank you Shakti Distinct Desserts from Planetary Products in Berkeley, CA. You made a delicious dessert and it looked so delicious I didn't dismiss it when I saw VEGAN and GLUTEN FREE and NO SUGAR ADDED on the label.

I will buy it almost every time I see it. Now if only Whole Foods would keep it in the same place in every store, and fix their parking lots so that they aren't such a pain in the ass to get in and out of . . . . .but that part isn't your fault and you have no control over that. Also, Whole Foods' parking lots and how crowded, confusing, small and stupid they are is a blog post for another time.

Until I write it, and after I write it as well, please go buy some Cacao-Coconut Mousse, grab a few spoons and share it with your oldest daughter. You'll be glad you did.

Half Ass or Balls Out

When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would tell them I wanted to be a chef. Then after years of working in a bakery and being a prep-cook I decided that the chef-life wasn't for me. Chef's made me cry too much. I couldn't stand the heat.

I don't cook as much as I used to. I used to cook every night. These days Hubby does most of the cooking. One might even argue that his cooking skills have surpassed mine, and I was pretty darn good at it. Hubby usually cooks during the week and I usually cook on the weekends.

I cook two different ways; Half Ass or Balls Out

This weekend my cooking was Super Freaking Balls Out. Here's what I made.

Saturday
Ahi Tuna Steaks Marinated in Some Stuff
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Equal parts of soy sauce, apple cider vinegar (I would have used mirin but I didn't have any) and lemon juice
Mince - a few inches of fresh ginger, a few cloves of garlic, a jalepeno
Salt and Pepper, red pepper flakes

Marinate it all for as long as you can. I did it for about an hour but I could have gone longer if I hadn't looked at the clock and said "Oh crap, it's already 7. I better start cooking."

I made a relish / pesto-ish / topping thing to go on top.
Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Mince together - ginger, jalapeno, garlic, lemon peel, parsley, almonds. mix in olive oil and lemon juice, salt and pepper
I suppose you could use a blender but I wanted it chunky. I didn't want a paste.

I served it all with a nice green salad.

Then on Sunday
I had some leftover Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing. I smeared it on some chicken.
I also roasted some peppers, just tossed with olive oil and salt
Hubby bbq'd some other chicken he marinated in herbs and stuff (I don't know what he put in it but it was yummy) plus he grilled some eggplant.
We served it all with a nice salad of arugula, cherry tomatoes and bleu cheese.
 

Guess what I'm having for lunch today.

Yes, I Cheat

"Hey Andrea, do you want some snowman poop?"

That's what one of my coworkers asked me this morning. I gave him a funny look. He smiled and told me what it was.

You take some oreos and separate the cookie from the creme filling. You mix the cream filling with cream cheese and grind the cookies into a powder. Then you combine all of that, make little balls and then dip in white chocolate.

I told my coworker it sounded like a stoner-snack. He said it could be, but it's his wife's specialty and she made enough for 50 people so he brought them to work.

I ate 3.

I feel sick now.

'Nilla Wafers and Chex Mix High

We went shopping at Grocery Outlet over the weekend. I'd never been to a a Grocery Outlet before.

There were a lot off-brands but the store wasn't filled with unmarked dented cans with no labels, like I imagined. Prices were pretty good. Quality was pretty good, mostly. Selection was pretty good, mostly.

Selection was great for those who eat a conventional diet. Selection was not the best for those of us who enjoy a more Paleo / Primal way of eating.

We were able to load up on the staples we needed like milk, cheese, bananas, apples, but it was definitely not a one-stop shop. It was however cheap enough and convenient enough to go make it a regular stop in filling our fridge.

When we were at the check-out line I heard on the overhead something about check stand 3 (the one where we were) had won some prize of the day. We won? Yay! What did we win?

A moment later someone came over and handed us a bag filled with all kinds of treats and goodies that we no longer eat; Graham Cracker Sandwiches, Nilla Wafers, Chex Mix, Red Vines. When Hubby and I saw the 'nilla wafers we instantly thought the same thing; POT OF COFFEE AND BOX OF 'NILLA WAFERS.

The next morning we totally cheated and had said 'nilla wafers and pot of coffee. What I noticed, however, is that I could only eat a big handful of the cookies. A year ago I would have hidden in the closet with the box and eaten it all. It was just too sweet for me this time around.

Yay evolution of taste buds and learning new eating habits.

Then for lunch I opened the bag of chex mix and found that I only wanted to eat my favorite bits from the bag, that the whole bag did nothing for me anymore. Happy and sad at the same time.

Overall I'm happy I don't want the foods I used to eat on a regular basis, and used to make meals out of. Overall I'm happy that I've taught my kids that vegetables aren't gross and I don't have to disguise them to get them to eat them. I'm happy that they crave food that's good for them. Don't get me wrong. They were just as stoked to pounce on the Graham Cracker sandwiches, 'nilla wafers and chex mix, but they don't miss it when it's not around, and that's progress.

Baked Macaroni - So Terribly Out of Practice

I used to make macaroni and cheese a lot. It was one of my go-to standard meals and I would make a few times a month.



The Girl really liked my mac and cheese but she also liked the box kind. She would get mad at me when I told her we were having mac and cheese and I would hand her a plate of my mac and cheese and not Kraft or Annies. We decided we needed to call my version Baked Macaroni and the box version Mac and Chz.

(side note - Once The Girl spent the night at her friend's house. When she came home she told me that her friend's mom had made THE BEST mac/chz and would I please get the recipe. I called up the mom and she laughed and laughed. It turns out it was Annie's brand.)

It's been years and years since I made Mac and Chz. It's probably been about 2 years since I made Baked Macaroni, until yesterday. I was making a batch for some friends who just had a baby.

The Girl and The Boy were so super excited that we were going to actually have pasta in the house and they were going to get to eat it.

Man-o-man-o-Manischewitz am I out of practice.

Although I'm pretty sure the recipients of my baked macaroni got a good batch, I bought way way less pasta than I thought I needed and made way way way more cheese sauce than I needed. This resulted in the Kiddies not getting any, and the recipients of my creation wouldn't get as much as I wanted them to have.

It started out fine. The onions and garlic were sweating nicely. The secret ingredients were doing what they were supposed to be doing. When it came time to make the roux, the flour cooked nicely and nothing burned or stuck to the bottom of the pan. Trouble came when I added the milk. At first I didn't add enough. Then I added too much. Then it didn't get thick enough so I had to add some flour.

Because of this accidental augmentation of the bechamel I underestimated the amount of cheese I should use. I had a giant block of Tillamook extra sharp Cheddar as well as some Parmesan. I had to dig into our regular stash of cheese to make the cheese sauce cheesy enough. I was able to make a 9x13 pan of the baked macaroni but the kiddies didn't get any.

Even though we don't cook pasta at home anymore, I'm not heartless. I promised the Kiddies they would get some mac/cheese goodness and they will. I've got a pot of pasta shells boiling right now, and not the whole wheat kind.

I guess it's a good thing I have become out of practice of making delicious but unhealthy foods. It means I'm getting better at feeding my family the foods we should be eating.

You Made Me Lie to My Son - an Open Letter to Applegate Organic and Natural Meats

Dear Applegate,

Hubby and I try our best to eat a Paleo diet. We're not the best at it, staying true to the spirit of the way of eating about 85% of the time.

We are always on the look-out for new ideas, inspiration and recipes. We are especially on the look-out for quick foods from the conventional grocery store by our house. That is why we were so excited to see Applegate Natural Chicken and Apple Breakfast Sausage. Hubby bought a box thinking we'd give it a try.

This morning I was running a bit behind (as usual), I hadn't had my coffee yet (not as usual) and looking for something quick for my toddler and me to eat. I pulled the sausage out of the freezer and through the sleep in my eyes, read the back of the box.

Your nutrition panel states that one serving comprises 3 sausages. Your cooking instructions give directions for 2 sausages and 4 sausages. According to your box, in order for me to have a complete serving of your sausage, I need to cook a portion 1/3 bigger than the recommended portion. Now I'm not an idiot. I can do math. I can infer that if cooking 2 sausages takes 1 1/2 minutes, then I could just add an additional 45 seconds to heat up the third sausage. However, microwaves don't always work on the principles of logical mathematical equations when heating up frozen things. I thought that 2 minutes 15 seconds would be too much for 3 frozen sausages. I decided to heat up my 3 sausages using the heating guidelines for 2 sausages. You wanna know what happened? It turns out that 1 1/2 minutes is too much for 3 sausages. One minute would have done it. OK, I'll concede that I was planning on giving one of the sausages to my toddler. Knowing the sausage was fully cooked I didn't need to heat it up to 165 degrees. I could just simply take the chill off before handing it to her. But I heated up my 3 sausages at 1 1/2 minutes, found it way to hot for even me to eat right away. I had to pass it back and forth from hand to hand making "ah-ah" noises and blowing on it before I could eat it. (yes, I know I could have just put it down on the plate and waited a minute and maybe passed the time by tying my shoes or making sure I had my bag packed for the day, but it was early and I hadn't had my coffee yet.)
Once I finished my sausages, I cut up my toddler's sausage into bite-sized pieces, put it in a little ramekin and put it on the table next to her brother who was eating the breakfast his dad had made for him. He asked me if I was feeding her last night's meatloaf for breakfast. I told him yes because I knew he'd ask for some and I didn't want to do more math and be confused with your heating instructions at 6:30am, before I had my coffee.

Thanks Applegate for making me do math and lie to my son.

By the way, your sausage were pretty good. I can't wait to eat them with some fried eggs and dip the sausage in the runny yolk before I take a bite.

Dessert!

I made my first Paleo dessert last night, and I'm not just talking about cutting up some fruit and putting it in a pretty dish.

So if you pay any attention to this blog in the last year or so you'll know that The Hubby and I have been working really hard to change the way we eat. We've changed our eating habits to reflect a more Paleo way of eating.

Wanting something sweet I made this; Brownie in a Mug from Paleo Desserts. It was pretty good. It wasn't the best consistency ever, but the taste was just what I wanted. Hubby and The Girl liked the taste but didn't like the texture.

So this recipe was GFV (gluten free vegan). I'm not vegan, and I don't have a gluten intolerance. Paleo says no gluten, which is why I made it. I have no problems eating animals or the products they produce. I mean, I don't think hunting for sport is OK. If you're going to kill an animal you should eat it, but by and large I believe that my teeth were made to bite and tear, which is perfect for eating animals. Truth be told, The Hubby is more strict about it than I am. At home I do a good job eating the right things. At work I do a pretty good job. If there's leftover lunch from some meeting I'll usually eat it. Sometimes saving a bit of money wins over eating right. When traveling for work I suck-diddly-uck at it especially since I travel to places where I have to eat in restaurants every night and not cook my own food. I try but it doesn't always work. Also, I'm not a diva about it. I'm not above taking one for the team. If I'm given a plate of food, sometimes I'll just eat the Paleo stuff and leave the rest alone. Sometimes I cave and eat it, like at my niece's wedding last month. I got the beef. The beef came with some really yummy looking mashed potatoes. I had a bit of the mashed potatoes. I'm not perfect, and the mashed potatoes were delicious. Also, if you saw me at the zoo today you saw  me take a few bites of my kids' dippin' dots. I try, but I'm weak.

Anyhow, I strayed from the recipe a bit in that I baked it in a water bath. I thought it would be safer to cook the ramekins in something rather than just on the rack. It didn't solidify as much as I wanted to. I think next time I make it I'll add an egg. It might make the texture less grainy. The flavor of the Brownie in a Mug was really good, but I think something to make it more brownie, less brownie batter-like will make it even better.

 

Put the Eggs in the Coconut Flour and Mix it All Up

This morning I tried my had at making pancakes made with coconut flour instead of using pancake mix, bisquik or whole wheat flour.

Here's what they were supposed to look like.

Mine did not look like that.

I used the recipe from this website. The directions were easy to follow. I wasn't sure what coconut nectar was so I skipped it. Nectar, to me, suggests something sweet. I was going to use some honey but I tasted the pancake batter and thought it was sweet enough. I don't like my pancakes too sweet. I like my toppings to be sweet. I don't think that by not adding the coconut nectar I messed them up.

The recipe said to make them small. So glad I did. They were super delicate and broke easily. I also had a hard time telling when it was just the right time to flip them over. They don't bubble in the same way as traditional pancakes.

The Boy didn't like them. He said they were too coconutty. The Girl said they were just OK but then changed her tune after she  drowned them in butter and syrup. I'm not sure if Bean had any. I left the house for the morning before she ate her breakfast, but when I got home, I ate the leftover pancakes and offered her a bite. She wouldn't eat any. I don't know if it was because she was full or if she didn't like it. Hubby said they were good but he could tell they were full of fiber. I liked the flavor, but thought the mouth-feel was grainy.

I would definitely make them again. I wonder if using a different recipe would produce a less grainy product. Then again, maybe it's just a characteristic of coconut flour. It'll be both yummy and fun finding out.

The Pitfalls of Marriage

I've worked at a lot of restaurants.

When I was 17 I worked at a restaurant called "Skinny Haven." The restaurant no longer exists. It was basically a Weight Watchers restaurant. All of the menu items had exchange counts listed (this is when Weight Watchers used exchanges instead of points). On many mornings before the restaurant opened there were Weight Watchers meetings. After the meeting everyone would step on the scale then take a seat in one of the booths and order breakfast. Since the restaurant doesn't exist anymore, there isn't a website to link to, but I found this restaurant review. In it the reviewer calls the place a "health-conscious restaurant." Everything came to the restaurant (mostly) pre-cooked and pre-packaged. The cooks would unpackage all the meals and assemble according to the pictures they had pasted to the walls inside the kitchen and pop it in the microwave for a pre-specified amount of time. It was all flavored with artificial seasonings, sweetened with artificial sweeteners and filled with artificial flavors. Sure, everything was low calorie, but that was the only thing it had going for it. Low Calorie foods was the goal, not food rich in protein and nutrients our bodies need. The ice cream they had, I have to say, was kinda good, but it was in no way good for you. It was dehydrated non-fat milk, fake sweetener, flavor and water that was frozen and whipped together to a sort of soft-serve consistency. Nothing, save for the actual vegetables on the salad bar was good for you. After Skinny Haven I got a job at a restaurant near the Queen Mary called The Reef. I didn't work there very long. I showed up for work one day and the place had burned down. When it was rebuilt I wasn't rehired. Turns out The Reef had seen more than a few fires in its day, only to be rebuilt and re-opened with new management and a new staff. I also worked at El Torito and a hamburger joint called Hof's Hut. Hof's had pretty tasty hamburgers. One time while working there I licked a piece of lettuce on a salad and gave it to a customer I didn't like. Then when I moved to San Francisco I got a job at a pizza place that has since closed. I've written about that place before. Worst job on my psyche ever.

All of the restaurants were different from each other. All had their own charm (or lack thereof). They all had one thing in common, though. At every restaurant, part of my sidework was to marry the ketchups. It was so gross. We had to balance a 1/2 full ketchup bottle on top of a 1/2 empty ketchup bottle and turn them into one full ketchup bottle. It didn't matter if they were different brands. It didn't matter if they were different ages. At the end of every shift, all of our ketchup bottles needed to be full so that the next day every customer could have a full ketchup bottle on their tables. Sometimes we'd use a little hot water from the coffee machine to loosen up the last bits of ketchup in the bottle. Sometimes instead of playing the bottle balancing game we would use a ketchup funnel. Sometimes the ketchup would be so old that it would ferment and explode a bit when opened. I hated marrying ketchup. And it wasn't just ketchup. We had to marry a whole host of condiments; mustard, mayonnaise, A-1 Sauce, hot sauce. And sometimes, when there was no more ketchup (or other condiment) to marry, we would open a #10 can (or giant tub) of the necessary condiment and pour brand new condiment in the old condiment container. We never washed any of them, save for the lids which we soaked in hot water to get all the dried crud off while we were marrying the condiments.

So this morning I went to the cafeteria in my office complex to get some eggs. You can get two scrambled eggs and bacon for $3. It's a pretty good deal. After I paid I went to the condiment counter to sprinkle some yummy Tapatio  hot sauce on my eggs. I had long suspected that this place marries their condiments and today I got my confirmation. In marrying the hot sauces, they neglected to put that little plastic insert back in the bottle, you know, that little piece of plastic that makes the hot sauce come out in measured drops. I ended up dumping 1/2 a bottle of Tapatio on my eggs.

Man, that sucked. I knew I should have gone for the Cholula.

My Favorite Processed Food

I've been posting a lot lately on the changes Hubby and I have been making to our diets. We eat more plants than animals. We keep ice cream, soda, candy, cake, processed food, etc., out of the house. We make Bean's food (cauliflower and apple was the big hit this weekend). We make sure The Girl and The Boy have plenty of fruits and vegetables to snack on at will. We stopped eating white food (white rice, white flour, potatoes). Most of the time we do a great job at keeping the bad stuff at bay.

Most of the time.

Sometimes it is necessary to cheat a little. Sometimes I just can't help it. There is one particularly yummy treat I crave, and when I do there is no stopping it until I give in. I blame thank  credit my oldest sister for introducing me to this disgusting delight.

A few months ago Hubby and I took The Kiddies to Long Beach to spend some time with my sisters and niece and introduce them to the little Pua Bean. My oldest sister was eating queso. I tried it. I loved it. I finished the jar then walked to Vons and bought an even bigger jar. I think it just my be my favorite processed food.

I bought a jar this weekend. Hubby saw it and got fake mad. We split the jar into two ramekins, heated it up and ate it all. 

So good.

Mock Tacos - The Way We Eat

When I was a kid my mom would throw a pound of frozen hamburger on the counter before leaving for work. It would sit on the counter all day long and when she got home she would turn it into something for dinner. When one of my sisters and I got older we would come home to a note on the table or a phone call from my mom telling one of us to make dinner using the meat on the counter and one of the Lawry's season packets in the cabinet.

One item that was a favorite in our house was Mock Tacos. I think my mom got the inspiration from a meal we would have at Camp Shiwaka, a day camp through the Camp Fire Girls (back when it was only girls). When I was a kid I went to day camp, then when I got older my mom would sign me up to be a DCA (day camp aide).  I hated being a DCA. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends at the Bull 'n Bun and watch the cute guys who lived near my friend's dad's house play their guitars. But anyways, Mock Tacos. I had them all the time growing up.

Take some frozen hamburger meat and put it on the counter before going to work or school in the morning.
Cook up the hamburger and add Lawry's Taco Seasoning Packet. Follow the directions on the packet except for the draining the fat part. Don't drain the fat.

Put a few handfuls of Fritos on a plate. Use regular Fritos. Don't get fancy and get the big kind, the scoop kind or a flavored kind. Get the regular ones.

Add a scoop of meat to the top of the Fritos pile. Follow that with a handful of shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and a dollop of sour cream. If you want it to have a little kick, go to your junk drawer and search through it for old packets of taco bell hot sauce. Del Taco hot sauce works better with this dish but not everyone is so lucky to have a del taco in their backyard. Taco Bell will work just fine.

When I was a kid I LOVED this dinner. "Hooray! It's Mock Taco Night!" I would exclaim. Sometimes when we had regular tacos for dinner (same recipe except substitute hard taco shells for fritos), I would crush up my taco shells so I could have Mock Mock Tacos. Today I can't imagine making it for my family. I have to admit though that thinking about this meal right now is making me both hungry and horrified. My kiddies wouldn't eat it if I served it to them and my hubby would flip out if I made something so bad for us. To be honest, Hubby and I would both eat it, and enjoy it, but then curse dinner as we fight over the lone bathroom in the house dealing with the gastric distress I'm sure it would cause.

I grew up loving food. I knew how to cook.  I grew up not being afraid to try new foods. I did not however,  grow up knowing how to make the best food choices.  I liked fruit, but I liked poptarts and fried pies better. I liked broccoli but I liked it better when it was covered in cheese sauce. Water was stupid. Coke was better.

One of the things I am most proud of in raising my kids is that they have better eating habits than I did when I was their age. If there is one thing I've done right, it's offer them vegetables and fruits plentifully (if that's a word) and frequently. They are happy to have fruit for dessert or a carrot for a snack. Sure, they like ice cream and sure they like chips, but those two items are not top of mind when they think about what to have for a snack. They've been programmed to go for the good for you stuff first. I'm trying to reprogram myself to think the same way.

I wish I had an updated Mock Taco Recipe that I could adapt for how we eat today. It would be the perfect thing to end this blog post. Oh well, another time.