Half Ass or Balls Out

When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would tell them I wanted to be a chef. Then after years of working in a bakery and being a prep-cook I decided that the chef-life wasn't for me. Chef's made me cry too much. I couldn't stand the heat.

I don't cook as much as I used to. I used to cook every night. These days Hubby does most of the cooking. One might even argue that his cooking skills have surpassed mine, and I was pretty darn good at it. Hubby usually cooks during the week and I usually cook on the weekends.

I cook two different ways; Half Ass or Balls Out

This weekend my cooking was Super Freaking Balls Out. Here's what I made.

Saturday
Ahi Tuna Steaks Marinated in Some Stuff
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Equal parts of soy sauce, apple cider vinegar (I would have used mirin but I didn't have any) and lemon juice
Mince - a few inches of fresh ginger, a few cloves of garlic, a jalepeno
Salt and Pepper, red pepper flakes

Marinate it all for as long as you can. I did it for about an hour but I could have gone longer if I hadn't looked at the clock and said "Oh crap, it's already 7. I better start cooking."

I made a relish / pesto-ish / topping thing to go on top.
Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing
(no real measurements, just use your eyes)
Mince together - ginger, jalapeno, garlic, lemon peel, parsley, almonds. mix in olive oil and lemon juice, salt and pepper
I suppose you could use a blender but I wanted it chunky. I didn't want a paste.

I served it all with a nice green salad.

Then on Sunday
I had some leftover Relish / Pesto-ish / Topping Thing. I smeared it on some chicken.
I also roasted some peppers, just tossed with olive oil and salt
Hubby bbq'd some other chicken he marinated in herbs and stuff (I don't know what he put in it but it was yummy) plus he grilled some eggplant.
We served it all with a nice salad of arugula, cherry tomatoes and bleu cheese.
 

Guess what I'm having for lunch today.

King Cousins - A Dream

A bunch of Hubby's New York cousin's picked me up and drove me to a dinner theater where we sat at a really crowded table, ate dinner and saw King Crimson play. When the show was over I had to pee really bad. I debated just holding it because I didn't want to miss my ride, but I decided to go to the potty anyways, and to my delight and surprise, all the cousins were waiting in line for the bathroom as well. I wouldn't miss my ride. Yay. Then I was standing outside the car, waiting to get in and Adrian Belew was standing outside. I said "Hi Adrian, good show." He smiled and got in an elevator.

Then I was in a car with Bean, The Boy and one of Hubby's cousin who shares the same name as me. In part of the dream I was driving her to BART so she could go to the Oakland airport. She wouldn't just let me drive her to the airport. She had to take BART. In the other part, we were looking for a new couch with seatbelts to fit into the back seat of the car. We found a pretty cool couch in an abandoned tiny-house, and it had seat belts. Yay us. Then I drove her to BART and took Muni home.

Stealing on Accident - A Dream

I was at some kind of rummage sale. In the back room of the rummage sale, President Obama was filming skits for Saturday Night Live. 

When he was finished he walked around the rummage sale tables. When he got to the table I was standing next to I just happened to be holding a shell lei I was thinking about buying for myself. I guess it was the way I was holding it, because when he got up to me he bent down like I was to put the lei on him. I did. He hugged me. I said "Aloha Kalani." He said "Aloha what?" I said "Kalani" he said "Palami?" No, with a "K."

Then I had to go back to the shell lei vendor and tell her I didn't mean to take the shell lei but the President thought it was a gift for him.

Team Unicorn

So yesterday Hubby and I got into a ridiculous yet very heated discussion involving Unicorns and Narwhals.

As it was 7am when we were having this discussion, I don't remember the finer points, but the gist of it is that I won the argument.

A unicorn would totally kick a narwhal's non-magical ass.

Say Cheese! - A Dream

I as at a store that a friend of mine owns. He decided that he needed to get rid of all of the washed rind cheeses he couldn't identify, plus a few other things.


He gave me tons and tons of cheese. One was a giant wheel of parm with one chunk taken out of it. The rest of it was all mixed up. It was all made into the strangest cheese shapes. There were egg-shaped cheeses, doughnut shaped cheeses, golf ball shaped cheeses. There was one big disc shaped cheese he couldn't figure out. I took the cheese to a local distributor to get it evaluated. They told me it was worth $99,000.00, and I could sell it at $65.99/pound. I thought about giving that particular cheese back to my friend, but then decided to share it with my friends and eat it.

One of the items he gave me wasn't cheese at all. It was a loaf of bread with a bottle of wine baked inside. The crust of the bread was really good but the bread that touched the bottle was gooey and I didn't like it. I didn't drink any of the wine.

Then a bunch of 6 year old girls came in the store and wanted to have a cheese tasting. I was trying to set it up for them but those who worked in the store kept stealing what I had set up for their own tastings. They made the 6 year old girls eat macaroons.

Conversation With Some Guy While Waiting for the Train

This morning when I got to my train stop I checked Nextbus and saw that my train was 6 minutes away. I went to the bakery across the street from the stop to get a $1 coffee. I call it my "it'll hold me until I get to work and can get a decent cuppa joe" coffee. It's pretty bad and pretty weak, but it does what I say it promises; it works until I get a proper cup. (I'll have you know, while at the bakery I was very good and did not give in to the lure of the pork bun.)


After I got my coffee I sat down in my usual spot and waited for the train. A guy walked by me who I'd seen on the train before but never paid attention to.

Him - Why you be drinking that coffee all day?
Me - I'm not drinking this coffee all day. I'm drinking it right now.
Him - You go to work or school?
Me - Work
Him - Where do you work?
Me - Downtown
Him - Where downtown?
Me - Why do you need to know?
Him - Where did you get that coffee?
Me - Over there (pointing to the bakery)

Without saying a word he crossed the street without looking left, right and left again and went into the bakery. The train came. I got on the train and went to work downtown.

What Faction are You In? - Book Review

I just finished the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. OK, scratch that. I mostly finished the Divergent series by Veronica Roth.

I started the books in good faith. I even cut them a little bit of slack. I thought the story, while interesting in concept, took too long to tell and because of that, I made it about 1/3 of the way through the third book before I gave up and looked up the ending on Wikipedia.

So, the book is about a dystopian society where all the people are separated into 5 separate factions based on their talents and convictions. The main character, Tris, decides to leave the faction she was born into and join a more daring one. She meets a boy. They fall in teenage love. The world crumbles around them. They fight back, learn some secrets about the world they live in. They fight people. They foil plans. Some of them fall on their swords for the greater good. Some of them walk into the sunset, ready to fight another day.

I liked that this book had a strong female lead, rather than a wishy-washy one. Tris, the strong female lead, was in a struggle among duty to self, duty to state and duty to love. It was refreshing that the book didn't focus on a totally winey girl who couldn't decide between  a werewolf and a vampire to submit to or a hunter or a baker to conquer.

I don't mind long books. If given a series of books to read, I will read the whole thing as though it's one book. What I don't like is when simple plots take too long to unfold.

I will certainly see the movie when it comes out on streaming netflix.

Run Mac! Run! - A Book Review

What a messed up book. I was entertained by it, but what a messed up book.

So, The Boy brings home books every week from school. All of the books feature some kind of letter sound or letter combination they are learning that week. There's the book with -ing words, there's the book with long O words, there's the book with words that start with Ch. There are more, but you get the picture. Most of the time the stories are silly, but they get the concept across; Bill went up the hill and saw Jill. Jill works at a mill. Bill and Jill will dine with Phil . . . . you get the point.

The book he brought home this week caught me off guard.

So here's the cover of the book. The story is plagiarized for your reading pleasure below.

Tab is a sad cat. Tab has a pal.
His pal is Mac. Mac is a rat.
I got mad at Mac," said Tab. I ate Mac up."
"I did like Mac," said Tab. I am a bad cat."
Tab ran to get the vet.
I can save Mac," said the vet.
The vet made Tab take a nap. The vet made a hole in Tab.
"Mac is safe," said the vet.
"I am fine," said Mac.
"The hole in Tab is fine," said the vet.
I hope Tab can get up," said Mac.
"Wake up Tab," said Mac.
Tab woke up.
"I am fine," said Tab.
Mac gave Tab a hug.
"I like Tab," said Mac.
"I am not mad at him."
Mac and Tab ran home. It is time to take a nap.

What kind of messed up story is that?

Two friends, Tab and Mac. They get into a fight. Tab eats Mac. Tab swallows Mac whole. Later he feels bad about it so he goes to the doctor to have his friend removed from his gut. Mac comes out of Tab totally unharmed and not mad at all. Meanwhile, Mac was alive and well, fully aware of his surroundings; the belly of his best friend and he's not mad when he's extracted. In fact, he's concerned that his friend might not wake up. Tab does wakes up. Mac forgives him and then they go home and snuggle.

I, personally enjoyed the story, because that's the kind of person I am, enjoyable. But I admit the book is kind of off. I look forward to more adventures with Mac and Tab.

Dining with Royalty and Driving with Revelry - A Dream

I was on a plane sitting in first class. I was stoked to be upgraded. I was sitting next to Prince Charles. Prince Harry, The Queen and a corgi were sitting in coach. They were mad at Prince Charles for sitting in first class. Prince Charles was all "What, I'm a friggin' Prince. Why shouldn't I sit in first class?"

The plane was diverted and we had to land in Queens, NY. I was looking for a plane to catch so I could get all the way home and Prince Charles suggested I stay over and have dinner with him that night, but not in a creepy hitting on me way. I told him I had to work tomorrow. He told me that my boss would probably say it's OK because after all, how often does a 65 year old heir to the throne invite you out for dinner. 

We get to the hotel bar. I am tasked with finding a Japanese restaurant. We get to the restaurant and it turns out to be a house where the married couple who owns the house cooks and serves dinner. There are about 10 of us dining; Prince Charles, the president of Rutgers University, my boss from my last position at work, Hubby, Bean and a few other people.

Then I don't know why but I'm in a truck with Alyssa Milano. She is driving me to the airport. The road is really curvy and winds its way through a fancy residential neighborhood. She drives super duper fast and dangerously. I ask her to stop and she doesn't. I yell at her to stop and she does so by driving into a cul de sac, slamming on the brakes and crashing into a fence. I yell at her like I've never yelled at anyone before ever calling her all kinds of names and tell her she's a horrible and thoughtless driver who should never be allowed on the road ever again. I get in the driver's seat and drive back to the hotel because I'm late for having dinner with Prince Charles, which starts at 9:30pm. 

Integrity - a dream

Jim Henson's company created a Muppet modeled after my mom. At first I thought it was a great idea. Who wouldn't want to be immortalized in Muppet form? I was actually quite jealous of her. I would like a Muppet made in my image more than I would like myself in action figure form. But then I got really mad at the Jim Henson company because they didn't make my Muppet-Mom with enough integrity and I thought that was just wrong.

*note - I put a label as "celebrity dream" and not just "dream." Although no celebrity actually appeared in this dream, I think just because the dream references one of celebrity's royalty, I needed to add that particular label.

Late - Not Always a Bad Thing

I ran a little bit late this morning.

My alarm went off at the time I should have woken up, but I pressed snooze twice as many times as I normally plan to. I kept trying to rationalize the consequences of pressing snooze one more time. 

If I press snooze one more time I won't wash my hair in the shower.

If I press snooze one more time I won't shower.

If I press snooze one more time I'll wait to put on make-up until I get to work. (Who am I kidding? I only wear make-up when I have a program running or fancy execs are in town.)

If I press snooze one more time .....

I ended up leaving the house about 45 minutes later than I had planned to the night before, but still 45 minutes earlier than I normally leave the house. (And I did it all without waking up the baby, which is what I normally do when I have to get out of the house quickly.)

I got to work just in time to complete what I needed to complete before the meeting I had to set up for was set up before the meeting started.

Anyhow, back up about 30 minutes.

I was standing in line to catch the company shuttle that picks me up at the Muni station. A woman I didn't know was standing in front of me. A passer-by stopped in her tracks, turned to the woman, smiled and gave her a great big hug; two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time having a chance meeting on the street. The woman who was walking by said that she was running super late so she couldn't stay and chat but she was very happy to see her. She walked away. The woman standing in front of me was left standing there smiling. I said to her "Totally worth being late today. She got to see a friend and now she'll have a great day because of it." The woman looked at me and smiled, then we had a pleasant conversation about the weather until the shuttle came.

I guess it was nice that I was running a bit behind as well as I got to have a nice pleasant conversation with a stranger.

Dating - A Dream

Johnny Galecki was my boyfriend. Was. We broke up. We still hung out in the same social circles, though. 
Then I started dating my communications teacher from the community college I went to when I was 19. 
Johnny Galecki got all mad that I was dating my old communications teacher and started revenge-dating some yucky girl who made mean tropical drinks. 

Fragments of a few dreams.

I haven't been able to  remember whole dreams lately, but I have had some pretty great dream fragments. I miss having long dreams with some sort of real plot. I wonder how to get them back. I haven't really made any dramatic changes in my nighttime routines that I think would change my dreaming. Maybe I need to work on ways to remember my dreams better. I'll have to research it further.

Bean and I were walking through a parking lot and we came across Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bean waved at California's former governor and said, clear as day, "Happy Birthday."  I was proud of her for enunciating so clearly. I was bummed that it was just her and me. I wanted her dad to hear her say "Happy Birthday." Then when we found hubby, she wouldn't say it.

Then we were walking down a well manicured pathway. I saw a rabbit. It was brown and was over a foot tall when it was sitting on its hind legs. I was holding Bean. I said "Look  Beanie, there's a rabbit." The \rabbit bared its fangs and ran towards me. I had a big fight with the rabbit. Then the rabbit turned into Peter Dinklage except he had blond hair and we fought some more. The fight ended with me standing on the rabbit's neck. Then I found myself back at the Whole Foods I used to work at and I was the team leader for both the bakery and the deli. I didn't want the job. All I wanted was to find a cup of coffee, but I couldn't get one anywhere. 

Fairbrook Street. - A Dream

I wanted to create my own clothing line; specifically men's pants. I called the line of pants "Fairbrook Street."

Having no experience with making pants I called my friend. She once helped me make a pair of shorts out of Cookie Monster fur as a present for Hubby when we were still dating. She had recently moved to Washington DC, but in my dream it took the same time to travel to my home from DC as it does from El Sobrante. d

We found just the right model to wear the pants and hired him. 

One night about 1 am we decided to go to a locally-owned neighborhood Java house near me. When we got there it was closed, but right next door was a Doggie Diner. We went inside and got some coffee.

While we were drinking our coffee we saw the owner of the locally owned Java house making rolls. We saw him take a huge batch of just-risen dough out of the big hobart bowl, put it on the table, then give it a big giant bear hug before he portioned the dough out into just the right size for his rolls.

We finished our coffee then left. I forgot my jacket and my shoes at the Diner and had to go back to get them. 

Then Bean and I were walking through a parking lot. We were on the 2nd level but our car was on the 8th level. I had tons to carry plus I didn't think Bean could walk up all those flights of stairs to get to the 8th level. We couldn't take the elevator because elevators don't work in my dreams. Bean kept running away from me for fun. Just when I grabbed out for her, she slipped through my fingers and turned into a pigeon and flew up into the rafters of the parking lot. We contained her in a cardboard box, then she flew out.

Bigfoot Birthday

We recently celebrated The Boy's birthday. Along with a few cousins and kids of friends, I invited his friends from his class, and they, along with their families came and enjoyed a really fun day at the park. The day was beautiful. Hubby and I got to meet the parents of the kids in The Boy's class. We got to put names to the faces of The Boy's classmates. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of all our guests. Everyone was really nice. I look forward to getting to know them better over the course of The Boy's time at his school.

The Boy chose a Bigfoot theme for his party. It didn't all work out as well as I had thought it would in my head. There were a few hiccups but the kids had a great time.

We made casts of the kids' hands and feet. Not all the kids were into it, but it was fun.

The cake was rockin'. I made a chocolate cake and decorated it with candy rocks, plastic trees and a tiny ceramic monkey I hoped would pass as a bigfoot. It did.
Here's a picture of it.

See that frosting lake? That's just what it is, a frosting lake. The Boy dug a handful of cake out of the center so the lake could go there. It was his birthday cake. I took his lead and filled the hole with frosting. 

As it was a little hot outside, I put a jacket over the cake so the frosting wouldn't melt. So while I was protecting the cake from the heat, it was not protected from the pitter patter stompy stampy of a 6 year old's feet and the cake got trampled on. Luckily the cake was also covered in plastic so although the cake was smashed, it wasn't rendered inedible. The kids ate it all.

At the end of the day my kiddies were worn out. Here they are waiting for Hubby to drive up so we could load the car and head home. Bean fell asleep before we even pulled away from the curb.

Overall it was a good day and I'm happy with the way it turned out. 

‘A‘ohe pau ka ‘ike i ka hālau ho‘okahi.

I read an article written by an Arab woman who doesn't think white women should belly dance. Since I am a white woman who dances hula, I thought it would be an interesting read. I wondered if by me dancing hula evoked the same feelings in Hawaiians.

The author of the article contends that by belly dancing, white women are appropriating the art for themselves and by doing so, causing harm to those who come from Arab cultures. White women belly dancing is akin to donning "Arab Face." That the fulfillment they get from belly dancing is at the expense of the Arab woman; that the Arab woman is somehow degraded because someone non-Arab finds something in the dance that moves them, that they find beautiful.

This article struck a chord with me. I think what the author is getting at is that her culture is being destroyed by people outside of it participating in it. I don't necessarily agree with her.

I've often thought about what people think of me when they see a white girl with no previous connection to Hawaii receiving such fulfillment and happiness from dancing hula.  I've only visited a few of the places we honor with hula. I only know about the people we dance about from what my Kumu has told me or what I've read on my own. I don't worship any of the gods we dance about.  I just know that I have a right to be in my halau because my Kumu says I do.

While I do think there is the threat of a culture to be watered down by outside influences, or for concepts or precepts to be interpreted incorrectly based on one's own culture, or even for cultures to be suppressed by another due to their own religious beliefs, I don't think it is wrong for someone to want to learn about other cultures or to practice art forms outside of one's own ethnic or national tradition.

I think it's important to preserve one's culture. I think it's important to learn about one's culture, one's history. I also think it's important to learn about other cultures, ethnicities and rituals. In doing so, one is able to understand the another's motives, beliefs, practices and religions. One is able to find beauty in ways of doing things different from one's own. One is also able to find similarities and common ground with another. Through this, we may not always agree with each other, but we can at least understand each other better.

I see no contradiction with loving the dance of one culture, the food of another, and the art of yet another even though I know that most of the time dance, food, art and religion are interconnected and it's important to have a grasp of the whole picture.

My husband's ethnicity is different from those of his parents. He was adopted. He is ethnically one thing and culturally another. He identifies with the culture he was brought up in, not the ethnicity he looks like. We both think it is very important to share with our children the customs, rituals and traditions and spiritual practices we grew up with, and the cultures we identify with, because those things make up who we are, what we believe and how we live. We also think it's important to create traditions of our own to pass down. If we were to learn what his ethnic derivation is, I would encourage my children to explore that world as well. And when my children grow up and start families of their own, I would hope they and their spouses would carry on the tradition of sharing their individual histories and culture with their kids.

I guess what I'm getting at is I don't think it's wrong to step out of one's cultural bubble to explore what other cultures have to offer. It's not out of the question to find fulfillment and joy in a practice unlike something one may have experienced in one's own life. One just has to remember that inter-cultural exploration should come from a place of respect and one needs to honor its intentions and respect its traditions.

Dang it. - A Dream

Dang it. Dang it. Dang it.

I hate when I can't remember my dreams. I had a celebrity dream last night that was probably pretty good but all I remember is the following .....

Tony Shalhoub
His broken foot
Linoleum
A black cat.







Man, it was probably a good dream, too.

Bummer.

DJ; Then and Now

Recently Hubby's cousin went on a mission to convert her videos to digital. Lucky me because a few months ago she sent us a DVD of the video she shot at Hubby's and my wedding reception. It was a lot of fun to look at. There was a lot of "Wow she looks so young," and "Oh, I was so skinny there," and "Who is that?"

Fast forward 17 years.

In December I organized my company's holiday party. It was super fun. One of the things I did was hire a DJ. I hired DJ Tom Thump. I have to admit, I picked his name off of yelp solely based on his name; Tom Thump. Of course I read all of his ratings on Yelp. Of course I googled him to find out more about him. Of course I talked to him to see if he would be the right fit. Of course I looked online for some samples of his stuff. (I found this by the way. I listen to it when I am working on expenses or when I'm knee-deep in excel files).

So it's a week or so after the holiday party. I'm sitting on my couch watching the wedding DVD that Hubby's cousin had just sent me and I stopped in my tracks. This is what I saw.
Tom Thump was the DJ at my wedding reception.

How strange is that?




Anyway, my wedding reception was 17 years ago and I don't remember every detail about Mr. Thump's performance, but at my company's holiday party, he totally rocked it. You should hire him for your next event where you need a DJ.

The Kaona of Rain

It rained last night. 

I can't verify it, but in my head it's only rained twice on hula night. The first time it rained, Kumu gathered everyone and spoke about how we had turned the ritual of hula into a routine. That we had become lazy and needed to remember why we dance. We needed to remember to be present, both physically and mentally or spiritually. That class stayed with me. I think about it frequently.

Like I said, it was raining that night. The rain was washing away the malaise our class was experiencing as a whole, giving us a new chance to reconnect with hula, and each other in class; a clean puka to dance in.

That was the last time it rained on hula night, until last night.

It poured on the way to hula. I knew it meant something. Just like last time, it was a sign, an `ōuli if you will. Something was being washed away, making room for something new.

We're getting ready for a Ho'ike Nui 'Elua. 

Four years ago at this time we were preparing for Ho'ike Nui `Ekahi. It was an amazing experience to dance with so many of my hula brothers and sisters. But most of the time I was really disappointed in myself. I was in the back rows for most of the pieces we danced. I knew it was because I wasn't giving my hula dancing the respect it deserved. I wasn't practicing enough. I was getting by. I was disappointed not with the spot that Kumu had given me, but rather because I knew I wasn't doing my best. I knew I could do better but I wasn't doing it.

Last night's rain reminded me to dance harder, practice more. Last night's rain reminded me that I feel great when I dance well. I feel great when I practice. Dancing doesn't come naturally to me. I know that I struggle with learning a dance. I know I'm stronger at memorizing chants and pules than I am at picking up a new dance. But when I do get it, when I do nail that particular move, my dancing changes. I'm happier. I'm more confident. I don't throw anyone off.

It took the rain to remind me that I can do this. I just have to do it.

Please and Thank You - Conversation I had with a Cashier

Today is payday.

On payday I usually treat myself with lunch, a bought lunch, not leftovers. Don't get me wrong. My leftovers are usually pretty yummy. Hubby is a good cook and I've been known to produce a pretty good meal or two. Anyhow, today I got myself a sandwich and a bottle of Ito En green tea.





The following is a conversation I had with the 20 year old kid with really bad, not quite grown in facial hair.

Him - Hello
Me - Hi
Him - Do you need a bag? (then he looked away)
Me - Yeah, thanks.
Him - A bag?
Me - yes
Him - (in a tone similar to the one I use on my kids when I want them to use good manners) Yes Please?

He rang my stuff up. I handed him my card.

Him - Do you need a receipt?
Me - No
Him - No Thank you (again with the "you need to use good manners" tone)

I smiled/smirked and rolled my eyes.

I left the store. I went back to my office, found a sunny spot in the bar and ate my sandwich.