Khloe Kardashian vs. the CIA - A Dream

Khloe Kardashian and I were trapped inside the CIA headquarters. There was a group of CIA employees who were trying to stage a coup and blow it up. Khloe and I weren't down with that so we tried to stop it. We were caught trying to stop the attack and made to hang out at the bottom of a stairwell and wear weird sci-fi nasal cannulas. Just before we were captured, Khloe got word out by speaking into her half-eaten hard boiled egg that we were in danger. 



We escaped the stairwell but then we saw that we couldn't stop the attack so our tactics changed. Instead of stopping the attack we decided to escape and at least save ourselves. Then Khloe turned into Anne Hathaway and her stupid creepy pixie haircut and all she did was whine and whine and whine. I tried to ditch her because she was bad at being sneaky.

Then my alarm went off so I don't know if we saved the day or just ourselves or failed.

My Favorite Processed Food

I've been posting a lot lately on the changes Hubby and I have been making to our diets. We eat more plants than animals. We keep ice cream, soda, candy, cake, processed food, etc., out of the house. We make Bean's food (cauliflower and apple was the big hit this weekend). We make sure The Girl and The Boy have plenty of fruits and vegetables to snack on at will. We stopped eating white food (white rice, white flour, potatoes). Most of the time we do a great job at keeping the bad stuff at bay.

Most of the time.

Sometimes it is necessary to cheat a little. Sometimes I just can't help it. There is one particularly yummy treat I crave, and when I do there is no stopping it until I give in. I blame thank  credit my oldest sister for introducing me to this disgusting delight.

A few months ago Hubby and I took The Kiddies to Long Beach to spend some time with my sisters and niece and introduce them to the little Pua Bean. My oldest sister was eating queso. I tried it. I loved it. I finished the jar then walked to Vons and bought an even bigger jar. I think it just my be my favorite processed food.

I bought a jar this weekend. Hubby saw it and got fake mad. We split the jar into two ramekins, heated it up and ate it all. 

So good.

Ayyyy! in the Morning

Walking fast down the long hallway towards the staircase in my office along side a Senior Vice President of Something Important

Me - I'm pretending we're racing.
SVP - I'm going to win. I've had more coffee than you.
Me - Yeah, but did you drink your coffee out of a Fonzie Pint Glass?
SVP - *Shakes his head and smiles, takes 3 stairs at a time*

Just like the time when Army Street's Name Turned to Caesar Chavez Street.

I had a dream that I was driving home from work and all of the sudden I decided I needed to drive to Long Beach. I didn't go home. I didn't call anyone. I didn't pack anything. I just up and decided I needed to drive to Long Beach instead of going home. On my way to Long Beach I had a bit of trouble. My car turned into a big red jeep with column gear shifting. I lost my wallet and didn't have any money. Then I lost my phone. I was bummed about this one because I was supposed to meet some friends at the corner of Atherton and Ximeno in Long Beach. Then, while I was trying to get to my destination, my car broke down and I had to ride a bicycle. As I was riding my bike, I came across some ruffians. They took my bike apart. I had to hop over a brick wall to escape them. I ran to the corner of Atherton and Ximeno only to find out that while I had been away, Atherton street's name had been changed to Wilson Street. There was no way my friends were going to find me because they didn't know that Wilson Street used to be called Atherton Street. I went up to a cop and asked him to help me. He started to help me but then found out I was from San Francisco and decided I was on my own. Luckily at that moment my friends found me. I hugged them. The cop shrugged and walked away.

Don't Eat Me!!!!

I don't think my smoothie this morning wanted to be eaten.

The Dinner Bell

I don't know why I didn't do it with my other kids. It's so easy. It's way cheaper. It's way way better for them as well.

 I've been making all of Bean's food. I've been having fun putting together different combinations.
Her food is usually one cooked vegetable blended with one raw fruit. I don't mix in any herbs, butter, sweetener or salt. There's plenty of time for that later, after she's developed a taste for the flavors of what foods naturally offer. The only thing I may add is baby cereal if the mixture is too watery. When it's done I pour it into ice cube trays, cover with plastic wrap and pop in the freezer. When she's hungry, I pop out what she needs, put it in the microwave until it's thawed out half way and stir. The residual heat takes care of the rest of the thawing out. At 9-1/2 months she eats about 6 ice cubes in one sitting, other meals she has yogurt, cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, etc. (plus lately she's been begging for our dinners as well, I think she's on a growth spurt).

Following in the footsteps of her older sister and brother, my little Bean is an eater. So far she hasn't turned down anything I've given her, but I can tell she's developing some favorites.

So far we've tried the following -
Avocado - hit or miss
Bananas - duh, bananas. of course she loves them
Butternut Squash - Meh, she liked it fine
Green Beans and Mangoes - she ate it but she didn't love it
Beets and Blueberries - She loved loved loved it
Broccoli and Apples - Loved it
Sweet Potatoes and Kiefer - I though this one was sour but she really loved it. It froze nicely, too.
Spinach and Apples - This one was by far her favorite.

Knock on wood she doesn't have any food allergies. She's been exposed to some common allergens like peanuts, via her brother's peanut butter sandwich hands and breath all up in her face. She's had things that had mushroom in them, but not had mushrooms by themselves (like in lentil soup). She loves bread and so far her gluten tolerance is perfect (even though as I understand it, gluten intolerance isn't an allergy but rather a body's inability to process it because of a missing enzyme? Do I have that right, my GF friends?). She also doesn't seem to have any issues with dairy as she's had kiefer, yogurt and cottage cheese with no problems.

I'm enjoying feeding my baby.

For those of you who make your baby's food, what do you make? How do you prepare it? Have you come up with any combinations worth sharing?

What's In a Name So Long As All the Letters Are There?

So yesterday I went on a little coffee-fueled rant about how I hate it when people say San Fran instead of San Francisco. Clearly abbreviations bug me.

Strangely, I'm not too bothered when people get my name wrong. I used to get all mad when people would call me ON-drea or an-DRAY-a, but now I just figure why bother,  all the letters are there. And those who totally butcher my name aren't people I'm around a lot so I don't bother correcting them. When it matters, I correct them, when it doesn't, I don't.

On the phone I've been mistaken as Sandra. I think it's because I answer my phone and say "It's Andrea" and my words get slurred a bit.

Today I got called something I've never been called.

I was at Starbucks. I ordered. The guy behind the counter asked me my name and then wrote it down on my cup. When I got my drink, here's what I found.

Henriette. 

.... And Then She Called It "San Fran" -- book review

There's something about "San Fran" that drives me nuts; like fingernails scratching a chalkboard, like teeth scraping against a fork I tell you. It's lazy. It's annoying. It reminds me of  yuppies and affluent baby boomers who have to abreviate all their words to sound cool and efficient, but they really don't. It also bugs me because it sounds disrespectful. I made this city my home more than 20 years ago. I don't have the bragging rights of a native San Franciscan, but I still claim this place as my home.
"Frisco" on the other hand doesn't bug me as much, if it's used in the right context. Hubby once said Frisco represents The City That Dare Not Speak It's Nickname. It conjures up images of The Gold Rush, Emperor Norton (even though he was credited with writing a decree which proposed fining people $25 for calling it by this name), being Shanghied and The Barbary Coast. There's  romance and lore behind "Frisco." "San Fran" is just lazy.

Anyways, I just finished reading Revenge Wears Prada by Lauren Weisburger. I enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada. I figured I would enjoy reading its sequel. Honestly I found it a chore to get through. I think I liked The Devil Wears Prada because I spent a long time being an Executive Assistant. Although the people I worked for were not as evil as Miranda Priestly (in fact, some were quite nice), I understood Andy, the main character's pain. I loved that in the book (not the movie) that Andy gave Miranda the big "F - You" on the streets in Paris. I've worked for a few people who may have needed such treatment a time or two.



Revenge Wears Prada takes place about 10 years after the first book ends. Andy gets married to some rich guy, has a baby, is besties with Emily and she and Em run a magazine together. The publishing company that owns Runway magazine makes a bid for Andy and Emily's magazine. Andy doesn't want to sell. Emily does. They end up selling. Andy gets mad and quits, then divorces her husband and hooks up with her boyfriend from 10 years ago. Nobody took revenge on anybody. Miranda was hardly even in the book. All Andy did was whine throughout the whole book about how much she hated her perfect life. I was really really disappointed in the whole book. I wanted Miranda to get really evil and then have Andy and Emily outsmart her and come out on top. That didn't happen. In the end, nobody was friends anymore, Andy got divorced and the magazine was swallowed up by a publishing giant. I was about 30 pages from the end and I just wanted to quit reading it. I decided to finish it anyhow, and just in the last few pages of the book, Lauren Weisberger referred to San Francisco as "San Fran."

I hate the phrase "San Fran" so much that my review of the book went from "meh" to "F-you and your stupid book on the streets of Paris, Lauren Weisberger."

Can't Get Me Enough of That Robert Langdon - Book Review

I just finished reading Dan Brown's newest book Inferno. Like all Dan Brown books, I had a great time reading it.

I've read all the Dan Brown books I know of, which is I think all of them. All of them pretty much have the same review from me; super fun to read, cartoon action with just the right amount of violence with a "Scooby Doo" ending woven specifically for adults. *antagonist shaking fist* ".... and I would have gotten away with it too were it not for that meddling symbologist."

I've mentioned before that I have a bit of a crush on Robert Langdon. I don't like the Tom Hanks version of him, but I don't quite have a clear picture in my head of what he looks like. I know he's olive skinned. He's kind of like Indiana Jones except he wasn't Han Solo in his past life.

In all the Robert Langdon-themed books Robert Langdon is thrown into some kind of mystery involving 14th Century art and culture where if he doesn't solve the mystery and determine who is the good guy and who is the bad guy before all the sand falls through the hourglass, or bag of plague breaks into the water supply or mason jar of anti-matter explodes, the whole world will be changed forever. There's always some good looking smart woman who teams up with him and (surprise) has all the right language, science or social skills to help him with his mystery. There's always some guy that seems good, but turns out bad. There's always some bad guy who is really, in fact, good, just a little misunderstood.

This formula works for me. I enjoy it. If Dan Brown were to write another book, I would read it. I'd like to suggest, however, he takes a break from Italy. Three Dan Brown books in Italy. That's enough. Take Robert Langdon out of his comfort zone. Make him go on some adventure in Greece. I betcha the Odyssey is rife with mystery and symbols that would make Robert Langdon all excited. Make him go search out something Mayan. Send him somewhere where he can't wear tweed and loafers. Send him to Disneyland and have a whole chapter about how his Mickey Mouse watch gets thrown into a bin of like Mickey Mouse watches and he has to find his lest something apocalyptic happens during the Main Street Electrical Parade. OK, that last one was silly, but sheesh, Dan Brown, let Robert Langdon go somewhere else for a change.

I can't wait for the next Dan Brown book, be it about Robert Langdon, the bored government gister or the wound too tight computer programmer, or some entirely new character.

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk - A Dream

I was a super sleuth trying to break up a bicycle theft ring at some university. Sometimes it was Stanford. Sometimes it was San Francisco State. We called it Humboldt State.



In part of the dream I was me and in other parts I was Curly of the Three Stooges. When I was Curly I broke away from Larry and Moe to do some surveillance on a pretty sweet unicycle. I saw a guy approach it. He was kinda crusty, had red hair and looked liked he hadn't shaved in a few weeks. He looked at the unicycle and read some numbers from the lock and walked away. I followed him back to his lair, which was a rundown building. He hung out outside with his other crusty friends. I went to go meet up with Larry and Moe. While I was briefing them on what I had just seen, a few frat boys came and sat near us. I had a suspicion the frat boys were spying on us. Turns out they were.

As me, not Curly, I tried to become a member of the crusty group but I had to be careful that the frat boys didn't see me because they knew that I was Curly and they could blow my cover. I became friends with the red headed crusty's girlfriend. She liked squirels. Her boyfriend carried a lute but didn't know how to play it even though he claimed he was really good at it and said he was a writer, but he was a real writer. He wrote with a pencil and paper and didn't waste his time on reading what anyone else had written, especially anything written on or with an electronic device.

Then my alarm sounded and I don't know if the bicycle thieves got caught.

Yesterday I fell asleep with a sweet baby on my chest and a sweet 5 year old at my side. All of us were cuddled under a blanket on the couch.
I dreamed I was at the mall. I was skating around on roller blades. I thought I'd kill some time at the arcade and settled myself in front of a table top pacman game. 1 game was 8 quarters. I said "Screw this" and left.

In Common

What do the following movies have in common?

Independence Day


Moonstruck


Contact


The American President


Trading Places


Sneakers


My Cousin Vinny


Philadelphia




They are all movies I can't turn off until they are over, even if I catch them in the middle. . I have to watch them. I will not be able to turn away. It drives Hubby nuts.

The Game

Remember that episode of Star Trek - TNG where Riker met a Ktarian woman in Risa who gave him a game to play. He brought it back and the whole crew became addicted to the game and susceptible to mind control by the Ktarian people? Everyone that is except for that crafty Wesley Crusher and his side kick Ashley Judd, that is. Oh, and of course Data because he's a robot. Eventually Wesley and Ashley Judd fell prey to the game and Data had to save the day with some fancy phototherapy. Then whole crew snapped out it and then fought the Ktarians and won.

I'm starting to feel that way about cell phones. Everywhere I look there are people on their cell phones, staring at a little screen, watching TV, checking "that Face-Twit thing" (as my dad calls it), or playing a simple, yet frustrating and addicting game called Candy Crush.

Where's Data when you need him?



Conversation I Had Today At Market and Main St. - Before I Had My Coffee, Mind You.

Me - standing at Market and Main, grumbling because I missed the shuttle by *that much* and trying to figure out if I should take the 82x or the F to work. Just when I see on nextbus the 82x is coming in 21 minutes but the F will be here in 2, and I'm about to step off the curb to go to the bus stop . . . . a man came up to me. He wasn't wearing a suit and tie but he looked like he was dressed to work in a fancy office. He was on the fancy side of business casual, except for the hippie choker he was wearing.

Man - Excuse me, can you tell me where Pizza Hut is?

Me - Ummm, Pizza Hut? I don't know.

Man - Well, I know there is a Starbucks right down the street and one just behind that building (pointing behind him)

Me - Yup, that's where the two closest Starbucks are. (Wondering what Sbux had to do with Pizza Hut)

Man - But you don't know where Pizza Hut is?

Me - No, I don't know where Pizza Hut is.  I've never looked for one before.

Man - Oh, OK. Thank you.

I'm going to be wasting a bit of time today wondering why this man needed to go to Pizza Hut at 8:00am in downtown San Francisco.

Why do you think he needed to know where Pizza Hut was at 8am on a Tuesday?

Mock Tacos - The Way We Eat

When I was a kid my mom would throw a pound of frozen hamburger on the counter before leaving for work. It would sit on the counter all day long and when she got home she would turn it into something for dinner. When one of my sisters and I got older we would come home to a note on the table or a phone call from my mom telling one of us to make dinner using the meat on the counter and one of the Lawry's season packets in the cabinet.

One item that was a favorite in our house was Mock Tacos. I think my mom got the inspiration from a meal we would have at Camp Shiwaka, a day camp through the Camp Fire Girls (back when it was only girls). When I was a kid I went to day camp, then when I got older my mom would sign me up to be a DCA (day camp aide).  I hated being a DCA. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends at the Bull 'n Bun and watch the cute guys who lived near my friend's dad's house play their guitars. But anyways, Mock Tacos. I had them all the time growing up.

Take some frozen hamburger meat and put it on the counter before going to work or school in the morning.
Cook up the hamburger and add Lawry's Taco Seasoning Packet. Follow the directions on the packet except for the draining the fat part. Don't drain the fat.

Put a few handfuls of Fritos on a plate. Use regular Fritos. Don't get fancy and get the big kind, the scoop kind or a flavored kind. Get the regular ones.

Add a scoop of meat to the top of the Fritos pile. Follow that with a handful of shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and a dollop of sour cream. If you want it to have a little kick, go to your junk drawer and search through it for old packets of taco bell hot sauce. Del Taco hot sauce works better with this dish but not everyone is so lucky to have a del taco in their backyard. Taco Bell will work just fine.

When I was a kid I LOVED this dinner. "Hooray! It's Mock Taco Night!" I would exclaim. Sometimes when we had regular tacos for dinner (same recipe except substitute hard taco shells for fritos), I would crush up my taco shells so I could have Mock Mock Tacos. Today I can't imagine making it for my family. I have to admit though that thinking about this meal right now is making me both hungry and horrified. My kiddies wouldn't eat it if I served it to them and my hubby would flip out if I made something so bad for us. To be honest, Hubby and I would both eat it, and enjoy it, but then curse dinner as we fight over the lone bathroom in the house dealing with the gastric distress I'm sure it would cause.

I grew up loving food. I knew how to cook.  I grew up not being afraid to try new foods. I did not however,  grow up knowing how to make the best food choices.  I liked fruit, but I liked poptarts and fried pies better. I liked broccoli but I liked it better when it was covered in cheese sauce. Water was stupid. Coke was better.

One of the things I am most proud of in raising my kids is that they have better eating habits than I did when I was their age. If there is one thing I've done right, it's offer them vegetables and fruits plentifully (if that's a word) and frequently. They are happy to have fruit for dessert or a carrot for a snack. Sure, they like ice cream and sure they like chips, but those two items are not top of mind when they think about what to have for a snack. They've been programmed to go for the good for you stuff first. I'm trying to reprogram myself to think the same way.

I wish I had an updated Mock Taco Recipe that I could adapt for how we eat today. It would be the perfect thing to end this blog post. Oh well, another time.

Sci-Fi / Fantasy Mash Up - A Dream

I had a dream I was watching a new Star Trek movie. Dr. Polaski was the main focus of this movie. Then I was no longer watching it, but rather I was in the movie and it . Kirk was in it, but it was William Shatner how he looks today, not how he looked as Kirk on TV or even the real movies.

We were being held captive on a ship. It didn't look like a Starfleet ship. It was more like a crappy apartment building. We were free to roam the ship, hold jobs, make money, have families and friends, but we weren't allowed to leave and everyone was afraid to complain because all the rooms had secret microphones and our conversations were being monitored..



I lived in one of the ship's apartments with my mom and my little sister. My brother lived on the ship, but not with us. My little sister was really great at making giant pieces of furniture. She made my brother a murphy bed that could be folded to the size of a wallet and kept in his suitcase when he wasn't using it.

My little sister kept getting presents left outside our door. We didn't know who they were from but they were pretty darn cool.

Then one day I was walking down the hallway and I saw some royal looking guards dressed like Swiss Guards like at the Vatican holding stalfs and walking down the hallway towards my apartment. They stopped in front of my door and a hobbit sized Emperor Palpatine dropped off a gift on the welcome mat. One of the guards knocked on the door. Hobbit Emperor Palpatine looked at me then scurried away. The guards followed him.

Push! Push! - A Dream

I had a dream I had another baby.



Martha Stewart was my OB.

Getting All Professional and Stuff

I got a new job a few months ago. I still work for the same company, but it's a new job just the same.

With my new job I started a new blog. This new blog can be found on Wordpress. I chose Wordpress on purpose. I don't quite understand Wordpress and I want to. Having a blog on its site sort of forces of me to learn it. It's always good to learn more things, right?

So here you go, Meeting Andrea.

I'm no Health Master, but .... - An Open Letter to Montel Williams and The Blender He Does Commercials For.

Dear Montel,

When The Girl was a baby, say 11 months old or so, when we went grocery shopping, like most parents, I had to keep my baby from losing her marbles. Sometimes I would give her a box of mac n chz to use like a maraca. Sometimes I would give her a lemon and then wait for her to bite into it so I could see her sour face. More often, though, I would go to the salad bar and grab a piece of steamed vegetable. Where we shopped at that time the store always had steamed cauliflower on their salad bar. The Girl would take the cauliflower and turn it into a slobbery mess with tiny little bites taken out of it. It kept her entertained for at least 1/2 of the shopping trip.

I would get two reactions. The first one was from people who would ask me why I gave her cauliflower. Why didn't I just give her a cookie instead. I would answer with "Why would I give my kid a cookie? She's never had one before." or "What's wrong with cauliflower." The other reaction, was the reaction I got most often. People would ask me how in the world I got my kid to eat a piece of cauliflower. My answer was simple, because I gave it to her. My baby didn't need cookies. My baby didn't need processed foods. Cauliflower was just fine.

This morning morning The Girl, who is now 14 her brother The Boy, age 5 and I were watching TV. We came aross an infomercial called "Best Blender Ever." (or something like that). I stopped on the channel because we make smoothies every morning and my blender doesn't have the power I'd like it to have. I heard you tell the audience that this blender is a great way to disguise vegetables. Then some woman came on and said it was a great way to hide vegetables from her twins. After that you were at some farmers market where you were teaching kids how to hide their vegetables.



Why do you need to teach kids how to hide their vegetables? Why not teach kids that vegetables aren't gross? Why don't we teach kids to eat well by not exposing them to processed foods until they've developed a taste for the things that they should be eating? OK, so you're argument here is that the kids you were talking to were already taught that vegetables are gross. I still maintain that teaching kids to hide the flavor is wrong. It has to be possible to teach kids that savory is yummy and that things don't have to be coated with sugar in order to enjoy them.

I'm not perfect. I don't always monitor what my kids eat, but what I have been successful at is making sure there are plenty of fruits and vegetables they can always eat. The Boy will knock back a box of Trader Joe's peanut butter sandwich  crackers, which is bad, but he'll also kill a basket of cherry tomatoes in one sitting or grab a carrot when he's hungry . The Girl puts waaaay too much sugar in her tea but I've also seen her grab a handful of spinach because she felt she hadn't had enough vegetables that day and was feeling like her body needed it. Both of my older kids are happy with having a piece of fruit for dessert.

I teach my kids that you have to have good food in you before you can put bad food in you. I don't go overboard and tell them they can't have any treats. I'm not the mom who only gives them fruit sweetened, gluten free, vegan birthday cake. But I am the kind of mom who makes sure they know the difference between food your body needs, and food your sweet tooth craves.

Cultivate their palates for what is good for them and they will crave what is good for them. Tricking them into eating their vegetables isn't the answer.

Thanks,
Andrea

Clowns are Drinkers, Too - A Dream

I recently changed jobs. I have the same employer, just a new job. I have a feeling that some weeks are going to be a lot busier and stressful than others, but overall I'm really excited about this new chapter in my life. Also with my new job, I am also working in a new office. My whole office moved into another building and we're in a brand new space. As far as offices go, my new office is pretty nice. Lots of natural light, nice colors, a great place to sit and have lunch - all things the old office didn't have. There are a few things to get used to in the new office, but overall the change has been a good thing. With my new job I moved to a new desk, but the first few months in the new office I was sitting next to the consumer affairs person, the person who gets all the complaints and concerns from callers who bought corked wine or who waited too long to drink their wine, not knowing that not all wines are meant to be aged. I don't know how the consumer affairs person stays so calm and doesn't break out laughing or get angry with the callers. I sit next to her when I see her in the break room. She's a really nice lady.

I had a dream that I worked for the consumer affairs department. My very first phone call was a very angry man who was upset that my company didn't do more to market to clowns. According to the man, clowns drink a lot and a lot of what they drink is wine. We are missing out on a whole lot of money because we don't specifically target the clown population. Clowns would buy our products if they knew about them, if they identified with them, and especially if they had a coupon for them. I asked the man if there was any specific brand of ours he thought clowns would like the most. He told me (although I don't remember what it was)  and so I transferred him to the brand manager that takes care of that brand. Then I hung up the phone and turned around. All the furniture in the room was gone. I left the room. I was barefoot. I saw my new boss setting up for a meeting. I told him I'd be right back because I noticed everyone had their shoes on but me. One guy was barefoot, but I didn't want to be associated professionally with this guy so I thought I needed to get my shoes back on. On my way back to the meeting I got lost in the office hallways and couldn't find the room I was going to and I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to find the bathroom. I did find the bathroom, but everyone kept walking through my stall to get to their stalls. I had no privacy and my toilet was spraying water out of it and the floor was all wet and there was another toilet right next to mine and its lid kept knocking my seat.

Earthquake - a confession

A new person started in my office not too long ago. Today she and I got lunch together. She just moved here from a place that doesn't have earthquakes. They have hurricanes, but they don't have earthquakes. Hurricanes don't scare her, but earthquakes do.

She asked me if I'd ever felt an earthquake. Of course I have. I've lived in California all my life.

The biggest earthquake I've ever been in was 5.9 (or 6.1 depending on who you ask). I didn't feel it.

It was my 17th birthday, October 1, 1987.

I was in my bathroom. I was running late, of course.


It was my birthday so I made sure that I looked extra special in my blue eye shadow and jet black eye liner. I also had to make sure that I had enough mousse and gel to get the sides of my hair feathered and poofy at just the right height. I was drying my hair; hair dryer in one hand, giant can of aquanet in the other.

I heard the front door of the house open and my friend call my name. She was picking me up to drive me to school. A combination of her startling me and me running late caused me to drop my aquanet and hair dryer. I bent down to pick them up and CRASH! I hit my forehead on the doorknob to the bathroom. (Picture Sylvester the Cat with little Tweetie Pies flying in circles around his head after getting hit with a frying pan.)

I shook it off, grabbed my stuff and got into my friend's car. When we were about a block away from the school the earthquake hit. Maybe I felt it, I don't know. I certainly didn't recognize it as an earthquake. Maybe I thought we took a turn too quickly. Maybe I thought the steering in my friend's Celica wasn't working properly. Point is, I had no idea we had just experienced an earthquake.

A few minutes after I got to my first class the fire alarm sounded. We all marched out to the fields and hung out. I had no idea why. I asked someone. They told me it was because the fire department had to check the buildings. I asked why. I kept getting puzzling looks. I guess they all assumed I had felt the earthquake. Finally someone told me we had just had an earthquake, a big one. It all made sense.

About this time I noticed my head was a bit poundy feeling. I touched my head and it felt a little puffy. I grabbed my covergirl compact and looked at my forehead. I had a big welt on it; a big welt in the shape of a doorknob. I got a giant doorknob shaped goose egg on my forehead from when I hit my head on the door.

Confession - I was so embarassed about how I had gotten the bump on my forehead that for the rest of the day I told everyone I fell when the earthquake hit.